Jan 22, 2025 11:19 AM IST
Dating is all about learning from mistakes, and women who went on 150 dates has some important stuff to share.
Navigating the modern dating culture is daunting and challenging. From new dating lingo, and trends to endless swiping, sometimes finding your true match may feel overwhelming. The complexities can exhaust one and cause one to give up finding love in a digital-first world. But there is immense learning from every mistake. It’s not all hopeless or cursed as some may deem it to be. Each awkward first date, mismatched connection, and unexpected ghosting is an opportunity to refine what you’re truly looking for, understand your own needs, and build resilience.
Talia Koren, a dating podcaster, shared her learnings after being on numerous dates. She took to Instagram to share some of her takeaways.
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Important lessons she shared from her past dates
- Despite dating life often seeming like hitting a dead end, all hope is not lost. There may be encounters with men who keep things too casual, which might deter some people from dating or lead them to generalize their experiences. However, Talia reminds us that there are still good men who are capable of commitment.
- She also shared a simple way to identify men who are casual and show no promise of commitment: they often bring up sex early on. Their actions speak louder than words, revealing their true intentions.
- When it comes to first dates, the question of who pays often sparks debates about intentions. While some people may read too much into this gesture, it’s important to avoid jumping to conclusions. Talia said that paying on the first date doesn’t make him an ‘f-boy.’ It does not speak for the entire character.
- Often, in an attempt to appear less clingy, people refrain from texting first, but this can be a bad idea. Talia explained that acting aloof and waiting for the other person to initiate can lead to misunderstandings. People often assume they’ve been ghosted, causing the connection to fade, especially in a time when everyone is sensitive to ghosting.
- It’s endearing to channel romcom dreams in pursuit of finding a match, but Talia reminded that one should be grounded in reality, not fantasy.
- Talia recommended coffee or walk as great first dates.
- On dating apps, people often judge matches based on their photos. However, Talia advised against placing too much importance on them, as matches may look even better in real life.
- On dating apps, it may feel like you know the person, but Talia suggested that this isn’t a reliable way to judge someone. Meeting in person is always the best approach.
- Relationships should be an energy match, so Talia cautioned that if someone drains your energy, it’s not a good match.
- No matter how much texting happens and how strong the connection and intimacy may seem, it’s actually an illusion, as pointed out by Talia.
- There’s an enormous expectation to immediately feel a spark on the first date, otherwise it is dismissed. But Talia addressed this and reminded that it’s not always necessary to feel the spark on the first date; it can be built over time.
- On a date, generally, people anticipate their date to ask them questions. But Talia instead suggested taking charge and just talking about things you want.
- There’s no fixed number of dates to determine if a match is ‘the one.’ Talia reminded us that this is the point of dating—to keep exploring and finding connections.
Biggest lesson
All of Talia’s takeaways point to approaching the dating scene without judgment, being open-minded, and taking the lead in navigating connections.
One has to stay true to oneself and embrace the journey. Whether it’s understanding the importance of in-person meetings, letting the spark build naturally, or being mindful of energy matches, her lessons are a reminder that dating is an evolving process, not a race.
ALSO READ: 5 things that look like red flags but are normal, according to relationship coach: ‘Occasionally feeling bored is…’
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
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