A healthy relationship creates hope of a better tomorrow in us. A happy relationship also creates a safe space for growth for the people involved in the relationship. Hope is a beautiful thing, but what happens when it is false hope? When we hold onto false hope in a relationship, it can break us emotionally and create issues of trust. “Hope is a beautiful thing. False hope – that’s the stuff that will keep you stuck in the mud, wasting years of your life. So, when does hope become false hope,” asked Therapist Maria G Sosa as she pointed out a few facts about false hope in a relationship and painted a picture of what it looks like.
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Maria further noted down a few situations that explain what false hope in a relationship looks like:
Who they are: Even though we have been repeatedly shown who they are, and what they are capable of, we hold on to the potential of them changing someday to fit into our idea of a happy relationship. Hence, we keep hope and do not walk away from the relationship.
Good moments: Every relationship has its share of good moments. But when we hold onto the gold moments and refuse to have a look at the reality of things now, it creates false hope in us that time will make things better someday.
Standards: We start to lower our standards of expectations and needs for them to fit into the relationship. We also start to refuse the basic needs of the relationship to stay in it.
Rough patch: We start to consider the tough times as rough patch of the relationship, and we keep hope that in the future, things will get better.
Excuses: We start to explain them with irrational excuses and try to dream of a life that we have seen with them.
Fixating: We keep fixating on rare moments when they put effort in the relationship. Even when they do bare minimum, we get hopeful on it and stop looking at all the negativities surrounding the relationship.
