When Ram was faced with homophobic jokes at workplace, he couldnтАЩt stand up for himself, for he was not out to everybody. That changed when a friend stood by him and prompted him to defend himself. тАЬI could gather the courage to speak up against the bully, because she stood in my support. It was a great example of an ally-ship,тАЭ he adds.
Who is an ally? An ally is a person or a group of people who supports a cause with another individual or group of Individuals. Ally for the LGBTQIA+ Community is a person who supports equal rights and participates in social movements.
Ram, founder of pride circle and creator of 21 days ally challenge, feels, тАЬAllies are very important, right from home to workplace, and to a society at large. If parents were allies, they can raise children who are confident and aware, instead of children who are scared of their own parents.тАЭ
For psychologist Deepak Kashyap, an ally is a person who is more privileged than the person he is trying to help. тАЬThatтАЩs why most straight people are allies,тАЭ he exerts. Straight people are larger in number and hence can make a significant difference, if more and more people take the ally-ship route.
Being an ally calls for a lot of responsibility, Kashyap says it is important to keep in mind that you are dealing with a set of people who have faced trauma in the past. When any person comes out to an ally, itтАЩs because the ally has created a safe enough space for them. тАЬAllies provide a brave affirmative space for people to perform their own vitality,тАЭ he adds.
In accordance with this Ram feels, that sensitivity should be the first and foremost trait of any ally. тАЬAn ally may not know everything, but approaching it with empathy, having respect for another personтАЩs choice, and being keen for learning make for some good qualities of an ally,тАЭ he explains.
Apart from being a good listener, having empathy and engaging within the community, there are a few donтАЩts that allies should always keep in mind. Listing a few donтАЩts Kashyap urges people to keep one thing in mind тАУNothing about me, without me! тАЬWhen you are helping others, you need to keep an analogy in mind. You are there to help them build a house, let them decide where the kitchen is going to be. You can give your inputs, but donтАЩt decide for them. DonтАЩt tell people how they are feeling; you are there to validate their feelings. Do not tell them how to feel,тАЭ he adds.
Also, letting people come out on their own time instead of forcing people should always be kept in mind. тАЬDonтАЩt out people without their consent, it is not encouraged. Being an ally means that you should support them. Assuming that you know everything about them is not right either,тАЭ adds Ram.
