Understanding non-binary identities on gender spectrum

For apparel designer Asad, who identifies as non-binary, feels navigating themselves on the gender spectrum has been quite a journey, there was a lot of dysphoria and confusion involved. Born biologically a male, Asad never felt comfortable using the men’s washroom in college or public places. “I had difficulty using the men’s washroom. I felt safer in a women’s washroom, but, you can’t use that anywhere. So, I had to wait for all the guys to vacate the washroom at the end of the day. And, then I would use the washroom,” they add.

After going through a lot of perplexity, reading on the subject of non-binary gender identities. Asad found a place for them out of the binary box. “I realised I could identify as neither a man nor a woman and still be somebody. I felt a sense of validation when I interacted with so many non-binary people in an online conference. It felt like a liberating safe haven,” Asad adds.

Recently, American Singer Demi Lovato, also came out as non-binary. However, Asad also feels that there is still lack of education about these subjects. R. Balaji, a marketing professional and TedX speaker, who also identifies as non-binary, agrees with Asad.

Balaji wanted to buy a gown from the female section for them, but, was denied by the staff in the showroom. “I went to try the gown in men’s trial room, I was told that you can’t bring female clothing items in the male trial room. Similarly, I was asked to not enter in the female trial room either,” Balaji adds. When their friend confirmed that Balaji is non-binary, the staff reverted with a rude comment and said, “There are no trial rooms for homosexuals.”

Balaji took this issue to social media and felt this was an opportunity to educate people. The post went viral. Later, the store owner apologised and gifted the gown to Balaji, and made sure to educate the staff around the store about sensitive issues like gender identities.

Reflecting on Balaji’s story, Reyansh, who also identifies as non-binary, adds, “People need to understand that the gender spectrum we grew up with was formed with a ‘Binary lens’. There are many more types of gender apart from just male and female. It’s not difficult to learn about and integrate other identities. Gender is a spectrum.”

In the recent light of events, awareness is being created for a more inclusive space for everybody, worldwide. According to new education guidebook in Australia, teachers are told to avoid using the term ‘boys and girls’ as well as referring to things as ‘normal’ to improve inclusion in the classroom.

Similarly back home, Madras High court suggested changes in the school curriculum to educate students on the same. Parent Teachers Association (PTA) meetings should mandatorily sensitise parents on issues of LGBTQIA+ community and gender nonconforming students in order to ensure supportive families.

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