The patterns that are exhibited by the relationships we are in, in turn affect the emotional health. While the healthy patterns contribute to good emotional and mental health, the toxic patterns can leave us feeling exhausted. “Pay attention to the patterns in your relationships. Those patterns are what will give you insight on if your needs are being met, the relationship is healthy for you, and what is being played out,” wrote therapist Divya Robin as she explained how relationships impact our emotional health. Explaining how we need to pay attention to the patterns, Divya added, “Many of us live on autopilot in our relationships and not honing in enough on the patterns. Those patterns matter. It gives us incredibly useful information if a relationship is toxic for our emotional health.”
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Divya further noted down six types of relationships that are extremely unhealthy for our emotional and mental health:
Unspoken expectations: No matter how much deep we are in love; we should always be careful about the expectations be communicated in clear words. The extreme consequences exhibited by the people involved when their expectations are not met also show us the pattern that we are in.
Difference in opinion: In some relationships, people are not allowed to have different opinions. When they do, they are made to feel like an outsider. This is a major red flag.
Spoken poorly about behind back: A partner should have your back at all times. But when you realise that you are being spoken about in a poor way, especially behind your back, it is time to confront the partner and take some decisions regarding the relationship.
Taking personal accountability: Mistakes are natural to be made, but we should be able to take responsibility for our mistakes. When we fail to do so repeatedly, it can make an unhealthy pattern in the relationship.
Giving up needs: In some needs, we give up our expectations and needs, just to please the other person and avoid any form of conflict. That is the sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Involving others in conflict: When we are not able to handle conflicts by ourselves and end up involving other people in it, it is a red flag.
