In a relationship, people exhibit different types of attachment styles. This stems out from a lot of facts – from the way they have been brought up in childhood to the way their caregivers and parents addressed their emotional needs. When we understand the attachment style of our partner, it helps us to understand them better and put efforts in carrying the relationship forward. However, no attachment style is permanent. With time, people change their attachment styles and adapt to the situation and the other person in the relationship. Addressing this, psychologist Nicole LePera stated that the foundation of the attachment style that we show in our adult relationships is built as early as the age of six. People often show multiple attachment styles – this stem out from their relationship with multiple people. However, with little effort, secure attachment can be built over time to make the relationship healthier.
Secure attachment: In this type of attachment, people feel loved and exhibit low levels of anxiety and stress. They are assured that they are loved – this comes from the fact that their parents and caregivers addressed their emotional needs in childhood.
Fearful avoidant attachment: When parents show abusive behavior in childhood, children start believing that abuse is normal in relationships. These children grow up to show abusive behavior and engage in relationship sabotaging, in their adult relationships.
Avoidant attachment: When people are brought up in homes where parents have been constantly emotionally neglectful, they grow up to believe that they are not important and that no one cares about them. They also have commitment issues in their adult relationships.
Anxious attachment: People in their adult relationships often make anxious choices or show stress when separated. This is an anxious attachment. This comes from parent figures who were very anxious or emotionally distant, and hence, the child grows up believing that he/she needs to take care of themselves.