Relationships take a lot of effort, and a little bit of luck to find the right person at the right time. But what starts as love and the butterflies in the tummy, turn to a long journey of two people, trying to navigate through challenges, struggles and each other’s disagreements to find a common ground based on which a healthy and intimate relationship can be shaped. However, often, people behave in certain ways, or their understanding of relationships can make them get hurt. Addressing this, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders wrote, “It’s no secret that dating and finding a partner can be a lot of work; it can be discouraging to put in the energy but still find yourself alone- or worse, feeling stuck in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling (or even harmful.) It’s important to know what mistakes can get in the way of you moving efficiently through those with whom you won’t be compatible. If you find yourself repeating one or more of mistakes, it’s worth being curious why that pattern exists.”
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Emily further noted down six things that can hurt us or our partners in the relationship, while dating. They are, as follows:
Passion and compatibility: Passionate love is one of the most amazing things in the world. But often, we confuse passion with the compatibility that we share with our partners. With time, compatibility lies in understanding the other person and facing life together.
Potential: We often try to live in the future and have expectations on the potential that the relationship holds. In middle of all that, we forget to live and make the present beautiful.
Actions: Ignoring actions that do not align with the promises that the partner does to us can hurt us in the long run.
Boundaries: When we do not explain the boundaries, needs and wants we have from the relationship, we end up getting hurt and miserable.
Exclusivity: The thought of being exclusive together should be discussed and communicated first, before making assumptions about it.
Red flags: the signs of red flags or the signs of discomfort in the relationship, should not be ignored. Instead, they should be addressed as soon as possible.
