Often in a relationship, we do not feel comfortable being with the person. This can happen due to various reasons – the personality of the person not seeming safe for us, or they not giving us importance in their lives. Depending on the attachment styles of a person, their behavior patterns in a relationship also differ. “Having doubts about your relationship is distressing and painful. It’s often also a lonely experience. You go round in circles not wanting to even have to think about it, but you can’t help it. Because one thing is certain: you are not happy. Something is definitely off. And no matter how much you don’t want that to be the case, you simply can’t stuff it down any longer. Something needs to shift. Something needs to happen. You’ve wasted enough time already,” wrote Relationship Coach Marlena Tillhon. Here are a few signs that the partner is not meant for us.
Priorities: it is important to prioritise ourselves before anyone else, but when the partner constantly prioritises themselves and never takes into consideration what we may be feeling, it can create a toxic relationship.
No capacity: often they do not have the capacity for the emotional patience to understand, sit and listen to us. They are too in a rush to respond and react instantly.
Availability: They are available to us, only when they need. This thought can make us feel unsettled. It also gives us the feeling of not being valued in the relationship.
Emotional safety: The partner can never comprehend the emotional fears that we may be facing. They always expect us to be okay with difficult emotions.
Bare minimum: We are provided with the bare minimum in the relationship. Instead of putting in more effort, the partner expects us to be okay with the bare minimum. We are also shamed when we try to complain or state our expectations from the relationship.