Struggling with difficult feelings? Therapist shares a life-changing hack to help you cope

By admin On Jan 23, 2025

Managing difficult feelings can often feel overwhelming, but it’s a skill that can be developed with the right approach and mindset. Whether it’s stress, sadness, anger, or anxiety, we all encounter moments when emotions feel too intense to handle. Therapist Aliza Shapiro, who often shares insightful mental health tips on her Instagram, recently revealed effective ways to manage tough emotions. (Also read: Unmet emotional needs in relationship: Study shows people turn to social media instead for comfort, developing addiction )

Emotions can be overwhelming, but acknowledging them without judgment is essential. (Pexels)

Aliza shared the post accompanied by the caption, “Mindfulness of current emotions is the path to emotional freedom. Try it and see for yourselves”. If you are someone who often finds themselves struggling with overwhelming feelings, take note of her advice.

Feeling vs. Suffering

Whenever strong emotions arise, we have two options: 1. Feel them (and experience the discomfort that comes along with all of that), or 2. Suppress them. Most of us go through life subconsciously saying things like, “I’ll take 3 cups of suppression, thanks.” However, emotions will make themselves heard one way or another—either through feeling (Option 1) or by turning into suffering, which is what happens when we suppress our feelings for too long (Option 2). Many of us don’t really want to suppress, but we have kind of forgotten how to feel.

Riding the wave:

The goal of feeling an emotion is to ride its wave. It’s not about running away from it (waves are always faster), staying ‘strong’ (waves will always knock you down), or denying its existence (waves don’t cease to exist just because you want them to). Like all things in this world, what goes up must come down. Emotions will, too, if you ride their waves properly.

Mindfulness can help in effectively managing difficult emotions.(Pixabay)

By using mindfulness with current emotions, we can process our feelings more effectively and respond to them in healthier ways. Mindfulness isn’t always comfortable. It means being fully present in the moment, paying attention to your thoughts, experiences, and sensations, and identifying, accepting, and honouring all the parts of your inner world that need to be heard.

Step 1: Observe your emotion

The first step of this DBT skill is about resisting the urge to suppress your emotions. Begin by confronting your emotions head-on. This is the act of observing. Step back and simply notice your emotions without judgment. Experience it as a wave, coming and going. Now, imagine surfing that emotional wave. As you ride the wave, regardless of whether it’s calm or volatile, don’t block or suppress the feeling, it’s a natural force, and we can’t simply get rid of it.

At the same time, remember that just as waves rush in, crash on the shore, and recede back to the ocean, emotions come and go. We don’t need to hold on to them. We don’t have to overly identify with the feeling or get caught up in what it means. Just as we don’t minimise emotions, we don’t amplify them; we simply let them be as they are.

Step 2: Notice body sensations

Our minds and bodies are in constant conversation, so when we experience an emotion, there’s usually a physical sensation that accompanies it. Even if you’re not immediately aware of it, it’s happening. To tune in, ask yourself: Where in your body are you feeling the emotional sensations? Simply notice. Then, allow yourself to experience those sensations fully. Observe how long it takes for the emotion to subside naturally. Don’t rush the process, but also give it the space to fade when it’s ready. Remember, emotions following their natural course often don’t last as long as we think they will.

Step 3: Remember you are not your emotions

To manage overwhelming emotions, it's crucial to observe and accept them without judgment.(Pixabay) — To manage overwhelming emotions, it’s crucial to observe and accept them without judgment.(Pixabay)

You have feet, but you are not your feet. You have feelings, but you are not your feelings. Emotions are temporary and don’t define who you are as a person. Remind yourself: I am not my emotion. With this in mind, resist the urge to act on your emotions right away. Even if there’s an impulse to run away, shut down, or avoid, now is not the time to follow through. Right now, you’re just observing. If you feel strong urges to react, take a moment to remember times when you’ve weathered emotional storms before. You’ve been through it, and you will again.