Often, we associate trauma with things that have had a lasting negative impression – be it an accident, or abuse or illness or disaster. However, trauma is anything that interrupts our ability to cope with it. “Historically for many of us, trauma was something that only applied to those who were abused, neglected, or experienced a disaster, accident, illness or war. And while these experiences are still ones we very much want to tend to and acknowledge, it’s important to understand that trauma is anything that interrupts our ability to cope. This means, as children, consistent missed connection, lack of things we need, being seen but never heard or exposure to things that are too much for us can overwhelm our system leaving us to have to find ways to get through it. This can leave an imprint,” Therapist Alexis Florentina Borja wrote.
Lack of safe physical touch: Human beings are wired to be social beings. We need safe physical touch to feel safe and loved. When we are devoid of it in our homes, we lose touch with our sense of identity and the biological need for touch remains unfulfilled.
Expected to be hyper-independent: When we are taught very early in childhood that vulnerability and asking for help are signs of weakness, we grow up to be hyper-independent who are scared of asking for help and are always on their toes.
Emotional responses are minimised: Sometimes, by our parents and caregivers, our physiological and emotional responses are minimised and shamed. This makes us suppress our emotions and not address them in healthy ways.
Having to self-soothe for comfort: When our emotions are not tended to in early childhood, we start to self-soothe ourselves and our nervous system.
Lack of boundaries: We are often taught to not have boundaries with our adults. This can be extremely harmful in the later stages of life.
Lack of communication: Sometimes, in the home, we are told not to communicate about the things that are bothering us. Hence, again, our emotions are suppressed.
