Are you ready for love? If you have just started dating someone or are thinking of making things more permanent between you and your partner, you should pause and reflect on this question. In case you need help, Relationship and Psychology Expert (PhD) Kimberly Moffit talked about the 10 signs you need to remember to determine if you are ready for love.
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10 signs you aren’t ready for love
In a post on Instagram on April 21, Kimberly listed the 10 signs you should look out for to indicate whether you are ready for love. Here are the signs she listed in her post:
1. Calm, consistent care feels suspicious
The relationship coach explained that you’re not ready for love if emotional neutrality feels suspicious. “If someone treats you with calm, consistent care and your first thought is ‘What’s their angle?’, you’re wired for chaos, not connection. Peace shouldn’t feel like a threat,” she explained.
2. Every day is a performance
According to Kimberly, you’re not ready for love if you’re still curating your personality for likability. “If every date feels like a performance (timing your texts, editing your opinions), you’re seeking approval, not resonance. You can’t receive love as your full self if you keep shrinking to be chosen,” she stated.
3. Not ready for inconvenience
If you’re allergic to inconvenience, this is a sign you are not ready for love. Love requires compromise, delayed gratification, and discomfort, the relationship expert explained. “If you shut down or get irritable the moment something isn’t seamless, you’re not ready for the messiness that real love brings,” she added.
4. You live more for grand gestures
Do you often enjoy Instagrammable moments or grand gestures more than actually sharing your life with someone? Per the relationship expert, you are not ready for love as you’re more excited about the idea of love than actual love. It means you’re more in love with the concept than the reality of building a relationship.
5. Hyperindependence
“You’re not ready for love if you’re more fluent in coping than connecting. You know how to ‘handle things on your own’, but let someone get too close, and you shut down. Hyperindependence isn’t strength, it’s armour,” Kimberly wrote.
6. Chaos is not love
If you confuse chemistry with nervous system chaos, then you are not ready for love. Your partner shouldn’t make your stomach drop, heart race, or mind spiral. You might be mistaking anxiety for attraction in this instance. Secure love feels grounded, not gut-wrenching, the relationship expert stated.
7. Silence makes you anxious
If silence makes you anxious and you panic when there’s no immediate text back or constant emotional feedback, you are not ready for love. Per the expert, real love has gaps, pauses, and space, and if those feel like threats, you’re chasing reassurance, not a relationship.
8. You’re addicted to the chase
“You’re not ready for love if you romanticise being chosen over being compatible. You fixate on winning someone over, not on whether they actually align with your life. You’re addicted to the chase, not the fit,” the relationship expert wrote.
9. You are not understanding
If you’re more curious about being understood than understanding your partner, then you want someone to ‘get you’, but you haven’t developed the muscle to see someone else. It is a sign that you are not ready for love, because it is mutual witnessing, not just being adored.
10. You are not aware of your conflict style
Lastly, you’re not ready for love if you haven’t explored your conflict style. Kimberly explained, “Do you ghost? Explode? Shut down? Argue to win? If you don’t know how you actually navigate tension, love will surface it in ways you might not be ready to handle.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.