Relationship coach reveals ‘number 1 killer of intimacy in marriage’: Absence of physical touch

Apr 05, 2025 12:09 PM IST

From normalising distancing from spouse to going days without holding hands or hugging, here are the things that can kill intimacy in a marriage.

A marriage or a romantic relationship is built on foundation blocks of love, loyalty, trust, intimacy and friendship. While the firecracker phase may get over after the initial months or years, what stays back is the urge to do life together and be in each other’s company for a long time. However, intimacy makes an important element in any marriage. Relationship coach Amanda Twiggs Johns pointed out the one thing that can kill intimacy in a marriage. Also read | Just matched on dating app? 6 types of initial dates to go on before making it official

Relationship coach Amanda Twiggs Johns pointed out the one thing that can kill intimacy in a marriage. (Shutterstock)

Amanda Twiggs Johns, in an Instagram post on March 31, explained the importance of safe physical touch in a marriage, and how the absence of it can kill closeness and intimacy.

Are you neglecting physical touch? Here are the signs:

No hugging or holding hands: Often people in a marriage may go days without holding hands or hugging each other. It can kill intimacy.

No kissing: Kissing your spouse does not need any reason. Kissing is an act of love and should be done promptly and often.

Being close feels awkward: A marriage with no intimacy can make two people feel that distance is normal, so much so that being close starts to feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Sex feels like a chore: It is essential to see sex as an act of intimacy and love, and not as a routine that needs to be ticked off the to-do list. Also read | Struggling to open up? Expert shares the reason behind growing emotional walls and shutting people out

How absence of physical touch can affect marriage:

“Here’s the devastating truth. Every time you pass on affectionate touches, your partner feels rejected and unwanted. Your lack of physical affection causes the emotional gap to grow wider, until all the warmth is gone,” wrote Amanda Twiggs Johns.

Here’s what your partner needs:

  • To feel desired.
  • To know you’re still attracted to them.
  • To be comforted by your touch.
  • To feel closer to you than a friend or roommate.

“Your partner’s need for touch is a gift they are offering you. What you do with that gift will either reignite the flame or leave you in emotional or physical isolation,” Amanda Twiggs Johns added. Also read | What to do when your date does not reply to texts? Relationship coach shares 4 tips to tackle the situation

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.

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Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Taylor Swift, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs.

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