In a relationship, everyone has their own needs. Understanding each other’s needs, wants and expectations is a primary necessity in a relationship. Of all the foundation blocks that a relationship is based on – loyalty, trust and communication, meeting the needs of each other helps in developing a healthy space for growth and emotional stability. However, what happens when the needs in the relationship are not met? To understand how to address the issue in a healthy way, we first need to understand why they are not being met, or why consistently the partner is failing to meet the needs we have. Explaining this, Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi wrote, ” The first step in getting your needs met is to figure out why they aren’t being met. Is it a you issue or a them issue? Is it more about differing values? Lack of interest?”
Managing the emotions: Sometimes we burden the partner with the needs that are supposed to be met by us. We are equally responsible for meeting our own needs. To understand, we should be able to manage our own emotions and understand if the reason our relationship needs not being met is because it is us who are responsible for it.
Communication: Often we think that our partners should read our minds. However, in a healthy relationship, clear language and communication are used to state the needs that we have and how they should be met. This clarity helps in creating transparency in the relationship, leading the way for a safe spoace for the people involved.
Capacity: While we state the needs we have; we should also understand if the partner has the capacity that is required to meet those needs. Sometimes, the partner can also refrain from putting in extra efforts to meet the needs.
Unrealistic needs: Sometimes we need to turn to ourselves and understand if we are putting too many needs on our partners, or if they are realistic enough to be met.