Giving a second chance to a relationship is not always a wrong decision. However, the decision is often taken after a lot of assessment and sharing of opinions. In her recent post, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders wrote, “The choice to give someone another chance is a tough one; you can ask for opinions from your family, friends, or coworkers- but ultimately the decision is yours.” Going back to an old partner or rekindling a relationship has had been terminated once in the past is a common thing, and happens due to a lot of reasons. “Sometimes we return to a partner because we need more information about the relationship (like how it makes us feel, did they make changes, etc), but sometimes we return to old relationships because we keep re-enacting old familiar dynamics that we have gotten stuck in. (This is where we insert attachment, old family dynamics, etc),” Emily further added.
Hence, in order to get back to an old relationship, we should keep these questions handy and allow ourselves to be honest in order to give a second chance to the relationship.
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Re-experience: When we break up with a person, it usually happens due to a range of experiences and causes. When we think of going back to the same relationship, we should consider if we are ready to re-experience the same situations.
Different: If we are considering going back to the same person, we should have a plan of action on what do we choose to do differently this time, so that the relationship does not meet with the same fate like that of the past.
Communication: We should be able to clearly communicate about the expectations that we have from the partner while we reconsider the relationship. We should also ensure that what we have communicated, has been clearly understood.
Change: Change is a constant in life, but when it comes to terminated relationships, we should ensure that the partner has gone through healthy changes in order to be safe and healthy for us again.
Responsibility: We should also ensure that the partner understands how they affect us emotionally and should take responsibility of the same.
Love: Love is the most important reason to stick to a person. But are we in love with the person or with the idea of the person? When we have successfully answered these questions to ourselves, we would be in the position to take a decision on the relationship.
