Siblings often ask parents who they love more, to which they respond that they equally love everyone. Even siblings may brawl over it, pulling each others’ legs with silly ‘adopted from dump’ jokes out of playful spite. A study published in Psychological Bulletin found that indeed parental favouritism exists, revealing surprising insights into how birth order, gender and personality influence a parent’s behaviour towards them, sometimes even unknowingly.
Grounds for favouritism
The study found the grounds for favouritism based on birth order, gender and personality.
For birth order, the study found that younger siblings often receive more favourable treatment, while older siblings tend to enjoy greater autonomy and less parental control as they grow older.
Secondly, for gender-based favouritism, parents slightly favour their daughters more than their sons. Although children are unaware of this, even parents may notice these biases.
Lastly, on personality-centric favouritism, those children who are agreeable and responsible are favoured often. They are more cooperative, accommodating, and easy to get along with, and as a result, making it easier for parents to connect with them more and treat them favourably.
All these patterns help parents connect with their children more easily than with the other.
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Understanding individualised needs
The study author Alex Jensen pointed out how childhood relationships shape a person. The study further emphasized the importance of parents addressing their children’s feelings of unfairness when it comes to favouritism. When a child points out favouritism, it could mean they need more understanding or that changes in parenting are necessary. Otherwise, when left unexplained, it may harm their mental health.
Parents insist on treating every child the same, but every individual has unique strengths and uniqueness which requires a different approach. Instead of treating all children the same, parents should focus on their individualised needs, such as considering each child’s personality, interests, and emotional requirements. By doing so, parents can help every child feel valued and supported.
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