The dating landscape is continuously evolving with new dating trends and lingo emerging. Dating styles do not exist in isolation; they are closely connected to one of the most defining aspects of modern dating, dating apps.
NATO (not attached to any outcome) is one such dating mindset that encapsulates the contemporary approach to relationships, where being in the present is prioritized over visualizing long-term plans.
Still confused about this new NATO dating concept? We have got it covered for you, bringing a comprehensive guide.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Chandni Gaglani, Head of Aisle Network, shared the fundamentals of NATO dating, why it is rising, and when to draw the line.
Chandni shared these basics of NATO dating that you should know:
What is NATO dating and why is it rising?
NATO (Not attached to any outcomes) dating is a mindset where individuals engage in romantic connections without fixating on long-term expectations. It is about enjoying the present, fostering connections organically, and allowing relationships to evolve naturally. The rise of NATO dating stems from a shift in societal attitudes as modern daters, especially Gen Z and millennials, prioritize personal growth, self-discovery, and emotional well-being over traditional relationship milestones. The way they look at life has also changed, as this generation’s marriage, kids, etc., are no longer the only markers of success. Dating without attachment to an outcome can be liberating, it allows them to explore connections without pressure and understand their preferences before committing.
Some of the common examples of NATO are:
- People dating for companionship without the pressure of marriage or labels.
- Open conversations about emotions and connections without rushing into exclusivity.
- Couples who prioritize personal development alongside dating, keeping options open.
ALSO READ: How to be a safe space for your partner? Relationship coach shares 4 ways to make them feel safe as they open up
How do dating apps influence NATO dating?
The concept of NATO Dating stems from the rise of low-investment interactions, often seen on swipe-heavy platforms. These encourage an endless browsing mentality. Although dating apps don’t inherently create NATO dating, it is how they are designed and how users engage with them that make the difference. When used with intention, they can be powerful tools for forming lasting relationships.
When to draw the line for NATO dating?
While NATO dating can be a phase of exploration and self-discovery, it is important to recognize when it becomes emotionally draining or counterproductive. Here are some red flags:
- Lack of clear communication: If someone consistently avoids discussing expectations, dodges conversations about where things are heading, or gives vague answers like “Let’s just see where this goes” without any real effort, it could indicate a lack of investment in the connection.
- Hot and cold behaviour: Frequent mixed signals, deep, meaningful conversations one day and complete detachment the next, can be emotionally exhausting. If someone is only present on their terms, it may be a sign that they aren’t valuing the connection.
- No emotional depth: If conversations stay surface-level and never progress into deeper, more personal topics, it may indicate that the person is intentionally keeping things casual without any intention of moving forward.
- Avoidance of accountability: People who refuse to take responsibility for their actions, whether it’s ghosting, breadcrumbing (giving just enough attention to keep someone interested), or leading someone on, are likely not invested in any real emotional outcome.
- You feel unfulfilled: The biggest red flag? Your own feelings. If NATO dating is leaving you drained, unsatisfied, or questioning your worth, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate what you truly want from dating.
ALSO READ: What went wrong in your last relationship? Psychologist shares guidebook on how to spot red flags
To sum up, based on the explanation shared by Chandni Gaglani, NATO dating is a mindset where it’s more go with the flow style, not really wondering too much about long term goals or milestones. This in a way helps the couple to explore their bond in a more organic way without any added pressure. There’s a genuine understanding that is rooted in freedom. But this dating mindset also requires both the partners to be on the same page to avoid any potential misunderstanding from the flexibility this mindset provides. Clearing up doubts also prevents emotional exhaustion or unfilled expectations.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.