The pandemic has changed the way we love, date and maintain relationships. For 23-years-old Sambhaab Deb Barman, the lockdown induced by the Covid-19 pandemic has created hurdles to his dating life. Barman blames the restrictions for the upset days in his relationship as they are unable to go out and spend some quality time together. “We are not able to spend time together as much as we would like to, spicing up a date takes up a lot of strenuous strength to make it not boring,” he adds. The lockdown tested couples on many levels. Love can endure anything they say, but did a pandemic changed peoples mind?
“The pandemic is forcing us to look within ourselves, as our patterns that have persisted over years seem to stare us in the face. As we begin to understand ourselves better, we begin to understand our partners better as well,” feels wellness facilitator Shaira Chaudhry. “If a couple happened to be facing challenges in their relationship before pandemic, then it is a definite possibility that the pandemic might have blown those challenges out of proportion. Generally, people tend to escape than addressing the problems, and viable escaping options are under a lockdown these days,” adds Chaudhry.
Delhi based relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo feels, “Factors like boredom, too much time together, disagreement over child related issues for married couples, and financial distress are the top contributors that have affected the relationships. The age old saying –excess of anything is not healthy, good or bad, fits right here. Since, most of the couples are forced to stay within the confinement of their own home, boredom is quite common. Not able to spend quality time together or on the contrary spending too much time together is also hampering the relationships.”
The sudden change in lifestyle is resulting in emotional distress for almost every individual. “Either partner is unable to spend time with their friends or colleagues, or spend some time alone completely. The couples are constantly juggling between their professional works, household work and managing kid’s at home has further boosted the mental pressure. This as a result has ignited a friction among several couples,” adds Sadhoo.
The ups and downs of the job market due to the pandemic has also added to the burden that relationships couldn’t handle. “Financial conditions of several families were impacted, as many individuals ended up losing their jobs or their businesses faced shut down. Thus, the financial burden also contributed to disagreements and arguments, among couples, eventually leading to a separation,” says Sadhoo.
However not all is doomed as the lockdown is proving to be a positive gift for couples, who were facing problems in their relationship. “Some relationships were held together by a delicate string. The pandemic offered such relationships, an opportunity to both fully break away, or finally work things out and make that string sturdier,” says Chaudhry.
Here’s how your relationship can endure the test of pandemic.
1. Every individual is unique regarding the kind of gesture they will appreciate the most, and you know your partner the best. Commit Small Gestures of Love, send them lovely texts, help in household chores and make time for conversations.
2. Even though your partner may look fine, it is still a wise thing to do the small check-in with your partner daily. Especially, during these tough times.
3. Even having some small talk together often goes a long way, as far as maintaining the relationship is concerned.
4. Looking back at the good old times and sitting together could bring happy memories and make you laugh. Just thinking about how you met or how you proposed, can take away a lot of tension that has increased because of this pandemic.
5. Deal with conflicts politely. Give each other a chance to speak, listen to what the other has to say without interrupting or becoming defensive.
