Love isn’t just about butterflies: 10 signs that you’re not ready for a relationship, according to expert

Thinking about jumping into a relationship but feeling unsure? It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, but being ready for love is about more than just having someone to spend time with. Relationship expert Kimberly Moffit often shares valuable insights on dating and relationships with her Insta family. In her March 16 post, she highlighted 10 signs that suggest you might not be ready for a relationship. Let’s take a look. (Also read: Are you too picky in love? How ‘the ick’ might be sabotaging your dating life without you even realising it )

Are you truly ready for relationship?

1. If you still define love as “the perfect feeling”, you’re not ready for a relationship. Love is a choice, not a feeling. If you think it should always feel easy or perfect,you’ree not ready for the reality of what love requires.

2. If you “put people on trial” for your own insecurities, you’re not ready for a relationship. This is when you have an insecurity, for example, trust issues and instead of dealing with it internally, you make it your partner’s issue to solve, like telling them what they can and can’t wear.

3. This is kind of a controversial one: odds are, if your trusted friends don’t think you’re ready for a relationship, you probably aren’t. Friends can often see things about us that we can’t see ourselves, so if they see something glaring in our blind spot, you may want to consider it.

4. If change is still extremely painful for you, you’re not ready for a relationship. Being someone’s partner requires flexibility and compromise. If you’re fixed in your ways with no budge, you may need to reflect before dating.

5. If you do the “pull and reject,” you’re not ready for a relationship. This is when you pull people in because you like the idea of them, but every time you get to know them, warts and all, you reject them (this is actually a sign of avoidant attachment).

Self-awareness and personal growth

6. If you can’t handle conflict without resorting to avoidance or aggression, you’re not ready for a relationship. Conflict resolution is a necessary skill in relationships, and if you shut down or lash out instead of communicating, you’re not ready for a partner.

7. If you still prioritise your own comfort over anyone else’s needs, you’re not ready for a relationship. Relationships require empathy, the ability to step outside of yourself and understand another person’s feelings.

8. If you are looking to “replace”, not explore, you’re not ready for a relationship. This is when you look for traits of an ex-partner rather than find new connections. If you find yourself comparing everyone you’re dating to them, take a step back.

9. If you expect someone to fix your emotional issues instead of working on them yourself, you’re not ready for a relationship. Healthy relationships are built on self-awareness, not on using someone else as an emotional crutch.

10. If you can’t remember the last time you had an honest conversation about your feelings, you’re not ready for a relationship. Emotional openness is the foundation of any healthy connection, and if you avoid it, you’re not ready to let someone in.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.