Valentine’s Day is over and if you are single and heartbroken, the week succeeding this over-hyped day, is perfect for you to begin your healing process. Anti-Valentine’s Week begins from February 15 with Slap Day and Kick Day is celebrated on the second day of the week, on February 16. On Kick Day, people make efforts to remove the negativity created by their past relationships and also get rid of all the gifts or memories of their ex-partner. Also, it may happen sometimes that you are in on-and-off relationship with your ex which invariably ends up causing you a lot of emotional distress. If you have ended things with your beau, but they are not ready to let you go, Kick Day is the perfect opportunity for you to tell them ‘it’s time to move on.’ (Also read: Kick Day 2023: Date, history, significance of the day in Anti-Valentine’s Week)
“You’ve finally ended relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend and ready to move on from this. The only problem is, he/she isn’t ready to let you go. You’ll need to be super clear that the relationship is over so that he/she doesn’t think there is a chance that you’ll get back together,” says Dr Jyoti Kapoor, Founder and Senior Psychiatrist, Manasthali.
Here are some easy tips by Dr Kapoor.
1. Be kind but firm when you break it off
Communication is the key in any relationship. One needs closure but when in distress, one may try to justify. The only reason one breaks up is because one cannot carry on, so avoid blame game and make it crystal clear that you don’t want to date him/her anymore. Avoid sending any kind of mixed signals that may make them think that there is any chance of a patch-up.
2. Stop unnecessary communication with your ex
If you stay in touch with them, they will likely believe there’s a chance they can get you back. It may sound uncivil, but politely inform them that you would not be answering their calls or responding to the messages, so that both of you have a chance to move on. If he or she still doesn’t agree with you, go ahead and block them so you don’t get calls or texts.
3. Maintain boundaries
If you answer their calls or respond to messages occasionally or let them hang out with you, this will send out a message that somewhere you still want this relationship to work. Maintain healthy boundaries by being firm.
4. Take care of your mental health and be strong
Sometimes you might be feeling guilty if your ex is taking the breakup badly. She or he might say really hurtful and rude things to you or try to harm them in an effort to get you talking to them again. It may get overwhelming so share things with a trusted friend or mental health professional who can support and help you during this hard time.
5. Mind your social media settings
An obsessive ex may want to continue to follow you or read every small message or status post.
Generally ignoring it is sufficient but in case the person starts becoming persistent or abusive, one may need to block the person or go private in your settings.
6. Change your routine
You may want to avoid your usual places where you two used to hang out together in order to avoid bumping into each other. Explore new options for a smoother transition. In case things are going too far or you feel you are being stalked taking help of mutual friends, family or even legal help may be necessary.
7. Don’t feel guilty
Everyone has their own capacity to manage stress and if your ex is having a hard time, it shouldn’t make you feel guilty. Be confident and trust your judgement.