Childhood is the most impressionable phase of one’s life, where caregivers, parents, grandparents, or other authority figures play a crucial role in shaping personality and behaviour. Children pick up on the behaviours they see in their parents, siblings, and other family members.
Typically, when a man exhibits toxic behaviour in relationships, he is often labelled a ‘Mumma’s boy,’ suggesting that his dependence on his mother jeopardises his intimacy and bond with his partner.
However, a father’s actions equally contribute to how a man behaves in a relationship.
A study published in Evolutionary Psychological Science explores this connection, examining how a father’s involvement influences a son’s romantic relationships in adulthood.
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Poor relationship with father in childhood reflects in adult relationships
The study revealed that when a father is less involved or emotionally distant, the son when he grows up, will also be emotionally distant in his romantic relationships, assuming that men do not need to put in much effort in relationships. Children look up to their fathers, especially sons, seeking support and warmth.
However, when there is a lack of paternal involvement, sons begin to emulate this non-committed behaviour from an early age. In their adult relationships, they invest much less, as they have not witnessed that level of commitment in childhood. As a result, when they grow up, they may not show emotion or dedicate time to their own relationships.
Quality matters
Typically, it is assumed that this emotional vacuum occurs when a father leaves, gets divorced, or is not around much due to work. However, the study pointed out that the quality of the father-son relationship mattered more than whether the father was physically present.
In fact, it can become a cycle where sons replicate their fathers’ behaviour in their own relationships and then with their own sons, becoming a toxic generational cycle of emotional unavailability.
Even though mothers play a bigger role in commitment and emotional engagement, sons still tend to model their fathers’ behaviour in this regard.
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Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
