In any relationship, it is extremely important to know the boundaries and the things that we are responsible for. By knowing what we should do, and what we should not, we can understand the boundaries better. It also helps us to achieve the things that we really want. “By not taking accountability for ourselves, especially in conflict or difficult situations, we limit our own growth. We are not able to identify or recognize the harmful patterns that we engage in that are getting in the way of what we want. Taking accountability for yourself is an integral part of growth; especially when you are feeling emotionally activated. Taking accountability for yourself is not something that needs to be an exercise in shame. It actually helps you feel more empowered in understanding yourself,” wrote Therapist Israa Nasir.
Here are a few ways to take personal accountability:
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Remove yourself from the situation: This does not denote that we need to escape a situation created by us. This means that when we feel triggered or activated and we feel that our responses are not well-controlled, we should temporarily remove ourselves from the situation to compose ourselves.
Release your emotions: We should have our personal space to release the pent-up emotions in a healthy manner before getting back and explaining our side of the story. We should understand that our mistakes can deeply affect another person in a relationship.
Use your words responsibly: The things we say and the actions we take can affect another person. We should keep this in mind when we choose the words we say, especially during an argument or a conflict.
Communicate your needs and thoughts: We should create a healthy space to communicate our needs and emotions to the other person. This should be a two-way street where the other person should also have the comfortable space to express their needs, expectations and emotions.
Own your mistakes: Instead of getting triggered by criticism or trying to put the blame on others, we should be open to receiving feedback and owning our mistakes. We should see this as an opportunity to make healthy changes in our behaviour pattern.
