Breakups are one of the most dreaded aspects of a relationship, especially if you are on the receiving end. While it is commonly assumed that every person would have a different reaction to unexpected news, there are three major overarching types of reactions. A study published in Evolutionary Psychology identified emotional patterns and grouped them into specific categories.
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Three ways of responding to breakups
The study examined around 219 adults, asking them how they would behave if their partners broke up with them. Then, another group of 442 people were asked the same. From all the answers, the researchers were able to identify 13 major categories based on different possible reactions. The reactions ranged from obvious ones like sadness and wanting answers to more intense responses like threatening self-harm or seeking revenge. According to the findings, most people reported feeling sad, asking for reasons, and trying to stay busy with distractions.
Now that the 13 categories of reactions are sorted, the researchers further brought clarity by dividing them into three broader types:
- Accept and forget: This type involves cutting contact, staying busy, or focusing on self-healing. This was the most common category.
- Sadness and depression: This type includes crying, feeling low, and even seeking therapy.
- Aggression and destructive behaviour: This type is less common, and it includes anger, revenge sex, and emotional outbursts.
So, to sum up, acceptance, sadness and aggression are the three most common breakup responses.
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Age-related breakup reaction
So, based on the breakup reaction types, it is understandable that most people prefer more self-healing, transformative behaviour rather than harmful behaviour. ‘Accept and forget’ is the most common, suggesting that after a breakup, people try to accept it and move on.
However, the researchers noted that age plays a big role in how people react after a breakup. While older adults are more likely to part with peace and acceptance, younger adults are more likely to feel sad and even try to get their partner back, aligning with the second category.
On the gender front, although the difference is minimal, men are more likely to have thoughts of revenge sex.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.