‘Getting Rs Five To Bless A Child On Street While Playing A Transwoman Is My Biggest Reward,’ Actor Abhay Kulkarni
The recently released film Kuch Sapney Apne pushes the envelope not only with regards to its central young gay couple but also in its inclusion of a transwoman in its thematic arc. Writer-director duo Sridhar Rangayan and Saagar Gupta explore the evolving relationship between a transwoman and her wife.
The film follows Ramesh (played by Abhay Kulkarni), the protagonist’s uncle, who decides to embrace her identity as Rama, a transwoman. This revelation throws Rama’s wife Lata and their two children into a quandary. While Rama’s elder brother, Damodar, a conservative patriarch, struggles to accept this transition, Damodar’s wife Vasudha and son Kartik express support.
Playing both Ramesh and Rama proved to be a challenge for actor Abhay Kulkarni who has earlier played supporting roles in numerous feature films like Rustom, Sanju and Lajja as well as TV and web shows including Crime Patrol, Scam 1992 and Murder in Mahim. “When Saagar and Sridhar offered me the role, I initially felt it would be very simple to play a kinnar character but when I started working on it, thoda tension aa gaya,” he admitted. “As an actor, I can’t be so casual, I can’t take a character for granted. I should be aware of that character’s personality because I have to portray the personality, not a written dialogue. But after I started working, it became a little easy.”
The actor pointed out, “We have seen many trans characters in films. There is a certain stereotypical way these characters have been portrayed till now, with exaggerated mannerisms, extra effort to portray femininity. But when I read this script, and started working in it I could see the depth in it. It’s not a usual trans character.”
Elaborating on his preparations for portraying Rama, Kulkarni said, “Initially my approach towards Rama was very sympathetic for a helpless character. But when I actually started the shoot, my scenes with Kartik and Lata came out very differently. While rehearsing, I used to cry a lot. In every sentence, my tears used to fall. There was a feeling of self-pity about Rama. But when I enacted the scenes before the camera, something strange happened – Rama was not ready to cry. I kept pushing myself to bring up the tears, but it was just not happening. Finally I did the scene the way Rama wanted – as a woman who will not cry and get sympathy. She is a beautiful, dignified, sensible and sensitive woman who now has achieved freedom.”
Kulkarni explained with passion how he internalized the character. “I just connected my own soul with Rama’s soul. I tried to understand her psyche and connect with the womanhood inside her. We play characters externally with make-up, costume and wigs … but what about the soul, the mentality, a woman’s psychology? It’s not possible to play a woman if you think like a man. As an actor, I have experienced that your body reflects your thoughts. I tried to grab that. Sridhar Sagar helped me a lot. I am very happy to have played Rama; it’s one of the best roles of my career.”
The film shows the wife, Lata, accepting her husband’s transition. But Kulkarni did not see that as stretching credibility. He explained, “When someone is closeted and leads a dual life, life becomes miserable for that person as well as the family. Of course, it must been a very difficult decision for Lata to accept her so-called male husband as a woman. But Lata has the wisdom to realize that she doesn’t want to force her husband to remain her husband. The scenes between Lata and Rama are very touching.”
Kulkarni views this as a message to society at large. “In India, if you belong to the lgbtqia+ community, people are forced into marriages because parents feel they will change after marriage and children. But it doesn’t happen. It’s an orientation by birth. It’s not a disease or a crime. So it was important to show Lata as understanding. Her sister-in-law Vasudha also wisely accepts her gay son, Karthik. I think women have a sixth sense which helps them decide what is right or wrong. Both Karthik and Rama are genuine people. I think that sixth sense worked for Vasudha and Lata.”
Kulkarni emphasized the importance of celebrating the International Transgender Day of Visibility. He stated with conviction, “We appreciate their existence; we all are the same. In India, the trans community is still closeted, they are invisible not only for society but they keep themselves largely invisible as well because of societal reactions. But they should be visible because they are also a part of the society. And their contribution is significant – nowadays we see trans people holding jobs in very important positions as pilots, in banks or in security. They are also given the rights from the government. This day is about giving respect to another human being.”
Kulkarni concluded by narrating an experience that touched his heart while shooting on the streets in Mysore dressed as a transwoman. A passer-by asked Kulkarni to bless the child. This moved Kulkarni immensely and he recounted, “I gave blessings to the child who gave me a five rupees coin! That is the Best Award I got for playing Rama! I still have that coin!”
