When you are in a relationship, it is difficult to identify your partner’s certain traits that may seem borderline toxic. You grow so accustomed to their behaviour that you get clouded by their personality and forget your own individuality.
A third party, however, may be able to tell the signs that you are in a toxic relationship, and that the person is not right for you. For your own sanity, however, Shahzeen Shivdasani, a relationship expert and millennial author of the book ‘Love, Lust & Lemons‘ explains the attributes that describe a classic toxic relationship. Read on.
1. Control: If you feel your partner is controlling your every move, it is surely a red flag. Your partner should be adding to your growth, not holding you back. You should have the space required to become the best version of yourself so that you and the relationship can flourish.
2. Alienation: If you feel your partner is alienating you from friends and family, then it is definitely toxic. Your partner is a priority in your life, not your entire life. If someone is keeping you away from the other beautiful things, it is probably to have full control over your mind and your growth.
3. Disrespect: Under no circumstance should you and your partner be disrespectful to one another. Relationships will have their ups and downs, but how you treat the downs is what defines a healthy relationship. The hard truth is, once it gets to the disrespectful stage, it will be really hard to move into a healthy space.
4. Dishonesty: Lying breaks trust. Without trust, there is no room for a healthy relationship. So, if you are in a relationship where both of you can be honest no matter what, then you have a keeper. If your partner is constantly lying to you then this is not the person for you.
5. Competing: Your partner should not compete with you. They should want to celebrate your achievements. Even if their life isn’t going the way they want, they should still always be happy for you. If you feel your partner is in a constant battle with you then that is not someone that can truly be your well-wisher.
“Relationships are hard work. Whoever tells you otherwise, hasn’t been in a long-term relationship. They will have moments that seem like a complete struggle. But, it should never get toxic. Reexamine your relationship if it enters any of these stages,” Shivdasani concludes.
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