Love is the foundation of any relationship and the mortar of trust, honesty, communication and respect is added to further cement the bond. One of the common complaints of married couples is that romance takes a backseat after a while as the drama of daily life takes over. More stress than intimacy is experienced by many married people as they struggle to manage their lives as partners. There could be many factors that may weaken your marriage and one of them is taking each other for granted. (Also read: Does your marriage feel boring? Add these 3 sexy things to reignite the spark)
For keeping the love and romance in a marriage alive and kicking, one needs to re-learn the rules of intimacy. While one cannot expect to go back to their dating days, they can re-write their love story and make it even better. For instance, there is nothing more romantic than stealing some ‘we time’ every day, be it going for a short drive after dropping your child to school or watching a romantic movie together. Saurab Goswami, Founder of Ultrarich match, in an interview with HT Digital, suggests some simple tips for a successful marriage.
1. Time management: This seems like a very insignificant point, but is actually the foundation of any relationship. It is important for both husband and wife to set aside time for household works and also set time for themselves, individually and as a couple.
2. Re-learning how to date as a couple: Going out for buying rations, or a doctor’s appointment does not count for a date. Dress up, head to an intimate location and reach out to your significant other. Try not to discuss family or kids or household expenses. Concentrate on your feelings, explore intimacy like you used to before you got married. ‘Talking’ and ‘connecting’ are two completely separate things, don’t mix those up.
3. Resolving conflicts: Again, connecting is important even when in disagreement. Not discussing things can lead to building up of frustration, which subsequently leads to anger. Even if you had an ugly fight, talk, discuss and resolve as soon as you both have calmed down.
4. Respecting each other: ‘Fighting with Honour’ is not just a military term. It should be applied in every aspect of life, especially in a marriage. Brutal words can hurt a marriage more than anything. Do not discuss private issues in public and never ever belittle your partner, not even in jest.
5. Exploring the best side of your partner: Remember how her smile used to make your day. Remember how his silly songs made you laugh. Do not let go of these small things as you get caught up with life. Always compliment your partner at least once a day. Call him or her up to say all the best for this meeting and that you are proud of him or her.
6. Create a connect: It could be a common interest, or it could be a spiritual connection. A couple who has been together since 30 years told me that they always used to watch this one serial together. No matter what the circumstance, no matter how stressed or busy, this couple would always take out these 30 minutes for a serial on the national channel. And they would watch this while holding each other’s hands. This was their special time.
7. Commitment: Cheating is not acceptable, no matter what the reason. Being drunk or being stressed should make you reach out to your partner, not to a third person. If having a meaningless fling is more important than your partner’s trust, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your own feelings. Reach out to a friend or a discrete professional.
