тАШDonтАЩt really feel like I fully processed JackтАЩ: Chrissy Teigen pens a note on grief
There is no timeline to grieving тАФ it is an extremely personal feeling. And Chrissy Teigen is taking the time to grieve and remember her third child, Jack, whom she lost last year. The model and cookbook author recently took to Instagram to fondly look back at her life, while also reminiscing about her difficult year.
She wrote next to a picture of herself and husband John Legend, a singer, that they have been going to a restaurant called тАШFrankтАЩ тАФ in New York City тАФ for 13-14 years now. тАЬJust reminiscing about New York a lot lately, when things were simple, thinking about all the stuff IтАЩve done and been through not just this year but in my life.тАЭ
Teigen continued in the caption: тАЬIтАЩm slightly down lately. It kind of started when I was thinking of my book caption and typed out тАШmy third baby is here!!тАЩ as in cookbook, then realized my third baby will never be here. Then I realized I threw myself into the book to not think of the real, actual third baby. I donтАЩt really feel like I fully processed Jack and now that I donтАЩt have the alcohol to numb it away, things are justтАжthere, waiting to be acknowledged. I guess what IтАЩm saying here is life is so f***ing complicated. And get the lasagna??? Wow this was a rollercoaster!!!!! (sic)тАЭ
She recently revealed that she has dedicated her third cookbook to Jack, who died due to pregnancy complications and excessive bleeding. Teigen shared the dedication page from Cravings: All Together: Recipes To Love which, according to a People report, will hit shelves October 12, featuring the words тАЬFor JackтАЭ.
The couple had documented the miscarriage on social media, sharing with their fans and well-wishers the heartbreaking moments when they realised their third child wouldnтАЩt make it.
тАЬWe are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain weтАЩve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasnтАЩt enough,тАЭ they had written then.
Later, Teigen, who has two other children тАФ Miles and Luna тАФ had told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that the experience had been тАЬtransformativeтАЭ for her. тАЬIn a way, [Jack] really saved me because I donтАЩt think I would have discovered therapy and sobriety and this path of really feeling good about myself.тАЭ
She had said that even though the pregnancy loss feels like a long time ago, she is тАЬstill coming to terms with itтАЭ. тАЬI go through my closet and see there are outfits, there are full maternity clothes, and there were things that I bought for my eighth month and my ninth month. So, itтАЩs just hard because he would have been born this weekтАж You look at those things and you have these constant reminders of him.тАЭ
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