Common relationship truths to unlearn: Psychotherapist suggests

Our idea of relationships is heavily borrowed from the books we read, people we interact with and the movies we watch. While some of us grew up watching love stories ending in tragedies, some believe that it is the most beautiful feeling in the world that stays with you till forever, barring all hurdles and stereotypes. As we grow up, our notions of relationships, love and the idea of accepting another person in their entire truth also changes. We learn to navigate through life with all that it offers us, and in the middle, we also learn to make the necessary changes to our adult relationships to our comfort. While we learn to do the same, we are also fed a lot of ideas about how relationships should be. But the truth is the truth in a relationship varies with people.

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Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders noted down the four universal truths of a relationship which are taught to us, and which are important to be unlearnt. They are as follows:

Share everything unfiltered: Sharing everything, being honest and transparent to the partner is an absolute necessity in a relationship. However, being unfiltered may not be a good idea. Being compassionate and taking into consideration the trigger points and weak areas of the partner while sharing things may help in the relationship.

Zero conflicts: Conflicts are a natural sign. Two people in a relationship are meant to disagree at times and go through conflict. Volatility is not a good sign and the partners should learn to accept each other’s opinions.

Love is always passionate: The initial phase of relationship is filled with infatuation. As soon as infatuation decreases, the passion also tends to go less. However, that does not mean that the love has faded away. Love feels like a calm after a point of time.

Apologising is a sign of losing: Apologising or owning the mistakes creates trust, love and strength in the relationship. Apologising does not mean giving away the power of the relationship.

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