Can’t bear the thought of your ex loving someone else and becoming better for them? Relationship coach shares what to do
Instagram user and licensed professional counsellor Jeff Guenther often shares relationship tips and therapy advice with his millions of followers on social media. In a recent clip, he talked about the feelings many face after going through a bad breakup, wondering if their ex ‘loves someone else and becomes a better partner to them’.
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In a clip titled, ‘You can’t bear the thought of your ex loving someone else and being a better partner for them!’ Jeff talked about what to do when you can’t digest your ex being a better partner to someone else when they didn’t treat you right when you were together. The relationship counsellor also shared tips on how to manage your emotions when these feelings spiral.
What to do when you can’t bear the thought of your ex loving someone else
In the video, Jeff stressed that these feelings arise when one is stuck on the fantasy of fairness in relationships. According to him, though relationships should be 100% fair, most of the time, they are not. “Fairness doesn’t live here. Relationships are messy, emotional, and wildly uneven at times, especially when they end,” he stated.
He added that when people are haunted by the idea that their ex might suddenly become the partner they wanted them to be, they should remember that they might never know the truth, and that is okay. “What matters is that they weren’t that partner for you, and that’s all the evidence you need to close this chapter. Slam it shut. Right now, they’re living rent-free in your mind. Someone who wasn’t showing up for you in the way that you deserved,” he explained.
Moreover, people should spend that energy on healing themselves, thriving, and finding someone who makes them feel cherished without begging for it. So, if you find yourself thinking too much about your ex and their future relationships, here’s what you should be doing:
1. Every time you start obsessing over your ex being with someone else, redirect that energy to yourself and ask what can I do today to be the person who attracts someone who matches my worth.
2. Block them on socials if you haven’t already. You do not need a front-row seat to their cringy rebound tour.
3. Remind yourself – you are not their rehab centre or their second chance. You’re the main character in your life. Act like it. It’s time to take back the energy you’ve been wasting on them and channel it into your own comeback story.
Lastly, per the relationship counsellor, there may be chances that your ex will be better for someone else. But, spoiler: people don’t change that fast, so don’t hold your breath. “But even if they do, that doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re already on your way to finding a partner who is naturally capable of meeting your needs. Someone you don’t have to train so hard who just does the good stuff because they’re a good person and a good partner,” he added.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.
