Colin and Bev, a couple aged in their 70s, were asleep in bed in their home on Francis Street in Yarraville just after 9am on Thursday when they heard noises coming from their roof.
They first thought the sounds were being made by a possum.
However, after poking through the plaster, with his feet dangling out of the ceiling, the would-be robber had one big hole in his plan.
“‘Sorry, sorry. Sorry. I’m looking for something up in the roof’, and off he went,” Colin told 9News of his interaction with the man.
The intruder had removed several roof tiles to crawl into the ceiling space.
It’s not clear how long he’d been there when he made his less than grand entry into the living room.
“I was standing here when he came down and he ran past me, unlocked the door,” Bev told 9News.
The Yarraville couple were equally as shocked as each other at the unexpected visitor.
“He [Colin] just turned around and said, ‘What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?’,” Bev recalled.
After offering his absurd apology, Bev was close enough to grab him but didn’t dare.
“You don’t know if he’s got a knife or a gun or anything and he could have just gone ‘boop’ and you’re dead,” Bev said.
The intruder ran into their backyard and scaled Bev and Colin’s fence, fleeing towards Francis Street empty handed.
The couple were thankfully uninjured but frightened nonetheless.
“We’ll get over it, but it’s going to take a long time,” Bev said.
Colin and Bev say the intruder had an olive complexion and was wearing a white t-shirt, blue-grey track pants, a black beanie and glasses.
Police are keen to speak to any witnesses or anyone who may have CCTV or dashcam footage from the area.
