Do you fall for the same kind of person and curse your luck every time your relationship doesn’t work? You maybe groundhogging or stuck in a toxic pattern where you probably do not realise that sticking to a checklist of the qualities you want in an ideal partner may not be working for you. Groundhogging in dating parlance means doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Groundhoggers may be looking for their type but experience an unsuccessful relationship every time. This toxic dating trend is becoming more common than ever before. You are probably a groundhogger if you are dating people with similar profession, personality type, life experiences et al. (Also read: 5 ways smartphones are killing romance in your relationship)
You may also feel hesitation in dating people who are not your type or do not match your checklist of an ideal partner. Breaking the cycle is only possible for groundhoggers when they are flexible enough to seek a partner who doesn’t necessarily fit their type but has all the necessary attributes of a loving and caring partner.
“Are you groundhogging? Not sure what that means? Groundhogging refers to the toxic tendency of falling for the same kind of people and yet expecting different results. Groundhoggers date people who fit their type and end with another failed relationship or leave the relationship feeling underwhelmed by similar toxic experiences. Among the top 10 terrible trends to have surfaced last year, groundhogging has been ranked 8th,” says Ravi Mittal, CEO of Indian dating app, QuackQuack.
Mittal suggests five ways ground hogging can ruin your relationship:
1. Causing repeated failure in relationships
Being stuck with the same kind of people, more often than not toxic ones, will only lead to more failed relationships, or worse, a negative notion about love and relationships.
2. Develops a sense of negativity
The majority of us make mistakes while falling in love, but your tendency of ground hogging, even if it was in the past, might be ruining your current relationship, giving you a sense of false negativity. We don’t blame you; you expect things to fall apart subconsciously, even if your heart says everything will work out this time.
3. Your type is ruining your love life
Has sticking with a “type” ever worked out for anyone? Groundhogging might be the reason you are still single. The absence of love is the worst thing this trend has done to your dating life. The repeated failure leads to fear of dating, leaving you single but not happily so.
4. Your checklist stops you from exploring
Groundhoggers say they have a strict list, leading them never to entertain anyone who does not meet the requirements; 27% of daters blamed their mile-long list being the death of their dating lives.
5. Self-sabotaging
Groundhoggers often sabotage a perfectly nice relationship; relationship experts suggest this might be because of repeated failure, leading them to see false toxic patterns from past failed relationships.
“Breaking out of the cycle of groundhogging might not be easy, but there is no other way than to consciously force yourself out of it. The alternative is to be stuck in the loop till you decide love is not worth it,” says Mittal.
