Are you a chill guy? Or a woman in a male-dominated field? And what do these online trends say about us?
Two recent online trends are sweeping social media — and dividing people across gender lines, some say.
Women are taking on the roles of men, calling it Women in Male Fields, jokingly sharing negative comments they’ve received in ways that flip the script.
“He lost his temper so I asked him, ‘Is it that time of the month?'” one user posted on TikTok, one of the hundreds of thousands across different platforms.
Meanwhile, men have taken to a cartoon dog created by artist Phillip Banks, dubbing it a “Chill Guy.” Comments on these posts can take on an absurdist tone: “I’m just a chill guy,” dozens repeat. “Chill guy,” others state plainly.
The dog can represent calm in the face of pressures from society — or, for some, from women.
“When she yells at you for forgetting what she told you earlier today, but you are just a chill guy enjoying your day,” states one popular TikTok.
Through the trends, people are venting their frustrations, or sharing their love of chilling — aimed at separate audiences, and some say that’s both building solidarity and sowing division.
‘There’s always that assumption that I get’
Camille MacLean, an Edmonton-based content creator, added her own Women In Male Fields take on Monday, posting, “When he got something expensive on and I automatically assume that his girl is rich and funds his whole lifestyle.”
“I’ve worked very, very hard to get to where I’m at,” MacLean told CBC News, explaining the motivation behind her post.
“There’s always that assumption that I get from men, where they … automatically jump to the conclusion that I have a rich man who is paying for these things, who is paying for how I look and is paying for my lifestyle.”
MacLean says she appreciates the posts’ creativity, as well as the dialogue the hashtag has created, with many women supporting each other’s contributions. On the other hand, she also questions why some people are reacting in anger instead of learning from others’ experiences.
“I don’t like the fact that it’s causing division,” MacLean said. “I think it can definitely create dialogue, and that’s kind of what I was hoping to achieve participating in this trend.”
The trend is squarely aimed at men, and has set off defensive or even rude responses among some.
For others, it has also spurred public self reflection: “A lot of women have actually been studying us so much,” one man said in a TikTok video.
“Omg they’re becoming self-aware,” a user commented.
The hashtag has also spawned offshoots, like #QueerPeopleInStraightFields, with similarly cheeky takes on societal norms and assumptions.
Stoic solidarity
Brendan Ruh, a California-based health and wellness influencer, posted on Instagram last week expressing his appreciation for the Chill Guy trend and its significance for young men.
He told CBC News the meme has resonated with his largely young male audience because it’s about “shining through in the face of adversity,” and exemplifies a “stoic solidarity mindset.”
It’s struck such a chord, in fact, that a Chill Guy meme coin popped up earlier this month and quickly skyrocketed in value.
“What the Chill Guy represents is that a lot of men have to be calm within chaos, and calm when a lot of stuff is being thrown at them, and they just have to be solid,” Ruh said.
“I think that’s how a lot of young men — especially as they enter the 18 to 24 range — feel: that a lot of life responsibilities get put on them.”
But while the memes can help some men find comfort, he acknowledges many of his young male followers are not particularly in tune with their emotions.
And he feels that both trends show how young people are often not dealing with their feelings in constructive ways.
“I think overall, what these trends are showing is that a lot of people have tons of emotions that they probably don’t unpack with friends or family or a therapist,” he said. “So they unpack them through memes and short-form videos.”
Therapists speaking with CBC News last month expressed similar concerns about people increasingly relying on strangers online for emotional comfort, and expressing their pain into a “social media vacuum.”
A sign of increasing fragmentation?
Jordan Foster, a research fellow in the DeGroote School of Business at McMaster University, who studies culture, new media and inequality, says these trends highlight how men and women are increasingly siloed online — apparent during the recent U.S. election campaign.
“We have to contextualize this against what we’re seeing more broadly, particularly in recent years,” he said, referencing an uptick in attacks against women online, and increased gender polarization, particularly as young men shift rightward.
“These phenomena are operating parallel with one another, and so I think we need to think critically about that. I think we should be conscientious of the fact that this is probably not coincidental.”
He says the Women in Male Fields trend offers a satirical critique of some men’s behaviour and the “emotionally taxing or fraught dynamics” that can arise from conversations with male partners.
Foster says the Chill Guy trend expresses a certain degree of ambivalence toward the world, through the image of a guy who “is unmoved by anything and everything.”
But, he says, it also speaks to how some men may be feeling at a loss for what’s going on around them and how to navigate relationships in their lives, and are seeking out a sense of social support and solidarity.
There’s nothing wrong with that, Foster says, as long as they are not driving themselves further apart from outside groups.
“I think only time is going to tell if that’s the direction we’re moving in, but I think there are some concerning signs that that is very much the direction we are moving in.”
