April reset: Know why you are failing your goals; tips on small mindset shifts to fix it fast
As the excitement of New Year 2025 fades out and April rolls in, many of us find ourselves quietly abandoning the resolutions we made just a few months ago. Gym memberships go unused, journals gather dust and lofty goals feel increasingly out of reach but is it our discipline or willpower that is lacking?
Don’t quit yet!
Experts suggest it is our mindset but the good news is that a few small mental shifts can make all the difference between a fleeting goal and a lasting lifestyle change. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Helen Marlo, Dean of the School of Psychology at Notre Dame de Namur, suggested, “Consider utilising a strategy I call, ‘Resolution Reflection.’ Actively reflect upon the resolution and look at how it is currently working in your life. What have you learned about yourself since making this resolution? How can you apply your new learning and understanding to the original resolution you created? Explore how or if the resolution needs revisions or refinement. As noted psychologist, Dr. John Dewey, said, ‘We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience’.”
Resolve to be committed to the resolution but flexible about the time period. Dr Helen Marlo explained, “Re-evaluate your resolution and the time commitment. Consider adopting a more manageable period of time. Resolve to stick with your resolution for a period you feel more confident about meeting. You might consider, for example, committing to a month; a season; or the longest period of time that you effectively kept this resolution. For example, if you kept your resolution for the first two weeks of January, commit for two weeks. Alternatively, you might commit for the month of April or for the summer.”
Turn broken resolutions into lasting habits
The spirit of the resolution may be more valuable than the letter of the resolution. Dr Helen Marlo elaborated, “Focus on the values within the resolution rather than fulfilling all the literal parts of the resolution. So, rather than dismissing the whole resolution, focus on meeting the values contained within that resolution. For example, you may resolve to relate to another with more kindness rather than mend your challenging relationship with them. Alternatively, focus on one meaningful but smaller part of the resolution and commit to doing that one part. You might commit to avoiding high fat cheeses rather than losing ten pounds.”
Recommending to practice pivoting, Dr Helen Marlo advised, “When your resolve for your resolution fades, explore what this may be signaling. Consider committing to one or more new resolutions. When done with honest reflection, pivoting on your resolution demonstrates openness, learning, flexibility, and adaptability, and may also express virtues such as wisdom and humility. Examine whether you associate pivoting, flexibility, attunement, or adaptability with failure.”
She concluded, “Remember that being flexible, attuned and adaptable to new learning and evolving circumstances demonstrates persistence, resilience and wisdom, not failure.”
