Angela Mollard: Prince William’s biceps a shot in the arm for male sex appeal

Vladimir Putin can fish, shoot a gun, emerge from a pool and ride a horse all without a shirt on yet everyone but for the most loyal vodka-soaked Russian babushka will respond with an emphatic “yeah, nah”.

But Prince William – the bald, sensible jumper-wearing, cheese-hued heir to the throne – simply offers his arm up for a Covid vaccine and suddenly we’re going gaga over his biceps.

Why is this?

The Duke of Cambridge seems a perfectly nice man and his wife clearly thinks he’s a bit of alright otherwise she’d have given up the crown and castle caper long ago.

But William – he’s not even a cheeky “Will” – is not someone we would have considered a sex symbol until he rolled up his French-blue jumper to show off his very toned — but not boastfully so — upper arm.

There were quips about a “royal gun salute”, fans admitted to having a “royal flush” and others remarked that it was now clear why the Duchess of Cambridge always looks so happy.

Meanwhile, every bloke on the planet was left wondering what the fuss was about.

That’s the thing isn’t it? You only have to look at dating sites to appreciate the chasm between what men think we find sexy versus what actually gets our hearts racing.

We are not, for instance, turned on by large fish, stuffed animals, gym selfies, anything with a motor or obvious pride in your own physique.

Here’s what we do find sexy …

ARMS

As the duke has proved, a strong arm, nicely toned and free of steroid enhancement, is far more attractive than the more obvious and oft-paraded chest. Arms do stuff. They fix things, lift children, pull sails in on a boat, paint, push a lawnmower, tie knots and hoist trailers on to tow bars.

A good forearm suggests an even better upper arm where – little known fact – a lovely knot of a tricep is more impressive than a bulked-up bicep.

Everyone thinks Hugh Grant’s appeal is his floppy hair but it’s his forearms – at their best in Notting Hill.

It’s also what makes celebrity chefs sexy – all that authoritative slicing followed by delicate sprinkling of micro herbs. But good arm action is equally appreciated in ordinary men.

Tips: avoid singlets (ugh) and short-sleeved shirts unless they’re polos and you’re playing golf. And as comedian Michael McIntyre was astounded to learn, we adore it when you’re driving and you put your arm on the back of the passenger seat to reverse park. Do that.

BOYISHNESS

Have you noticed how men remove their jumpers by grabbing them from behind their neck and pulling them over their heads? Women, conversely, do it by crossing their arms at the front. We love your way.

We also like it when you stretch and your shirt rides up and we see the gully formed by your hip bones (better without a beer gut). A T-shirt worn with just undies is cute (and offers the promise of an afternoon “sleep”) as is a little impromptu dance when you’re happy.

Oh, and good posture and bare feet. Love them.

SMELL

The great thing about a man’s scent – and natural usually beats whatever comes out of a bottle – is that once we’re attracted to it, we’re ALWAYS attracted to it. It’s more than just pheromones – smell offers a sense of home.

Obviously it’s not something you can manufacture but regular acquaintance with soap helps.

FOCUS

Much has been made of men’s inability to multi-task which, if such a claim is true, is largely because men focus. Really focus. Whether it’s a maths problem or reading a book or building a deck or playing with their kids, they become engrossed.

Competence, absorption, passion – whatever you call it, we like it. Watching a man give a speech is sexy, possibly because we get to see others appreciating what we appreciate.

COURTESY

Forget all the door-opening, bag-carrying palaver, what we find attractive is men who treat others well. Acknowledgment and engagement with waiters, checkout operators and service-station attendants speaks volumes, while teenage boys who can ask a question of adults confidently always impress.

THE THREE-DAY BEARD

We don’t know how you do it and we don’t really care but that “just so” unshaved look is irresistible.

A WELL-MODULATED VOICE

Actors Sam Neill, Gabriel Byrne and Chris O’Dowd all have great voices and while it’s not something most of us can change, slowing down your delivery is uber sexy. I once went on a blind date with someone interstate and while he was amusing in text, I feared he’d have a weak voice IRL.

Whereas others might’ve Googled for images, I dug around until I found an old radio interview he’d done.

UNCONTRIVED APPEAL

OK, so now you know what makes you sexy, you have to instantly forget it. Because being unaware of your own appeal is the sexiest thing of all.

ANGELA LOVES …

RELATIONSHIP COACH

Forget MAFS, the best relationship coach on television is the gorgeous Jodi Rodgers who appears on Love on the Spectrum (ABC iview).

As she tells one young man with autism, a relationship does not solve your problems.

“Having a girlfriend is a beautiful thing,” she says, “but it doesn’t make everything perfect. You have to really try with another person, it’s all about looking after one another and all of that can be really, really hard work.”

PRO VAXXERS

Hats off to everyone who is getting their Covid vaccine. We owe it to our doctors and nurses who put their lives on the line, we owe it to those who can’t see their families overseas and we owe it to each other. Vaccination is honouring the “we” over the “me”.