After years of abuse and extortion, she went to police. Now this woman hopes to inspire others with her story

An Edmonton woman hopes going public about how she managed to escape a violent and emotionally abusive relationship inspires others to find the strength and courage to do the same.

In 2016, Natalie Bak mustered the courage to file a complaint to Edmonton police about the years of abuse she suffered at the hands of Hewton Murray.

Last month, Bak successfully argued for a court-mandated publication ban on her name to be lifted so she could tell her story.

“I think it’s important that others know that it’s OK,” she told CBC News in an interview. 

“It can get better.”

Bak was 19 in 2008 when she met Murray at a northern Alberta work camp. She thought he was charismatic.

“I thought I was in love,” Bak said. “Definitely infatuated.”

Not long after she moved into an Edmonton basement apartment with Murray, Bak saw red flags.

“It was a lot of emotional abuse. A lot of yelling, screaming,” she said in the interview.

Murray wouldn’t allow her to make her own friends or to see anyone socially without him. He cut her off from her family. She didn’t want to tell her parents she’d made a mistake.

“Out of shame and pride, I didn’t want to admit defeat,” Bak said.

By the end of 2011, the couple agreed the relationship wasn’t working. They broke it off but continued to live together.

That’s when the extortion and sexual assaults began. 

Murray made Bak believe that a criminal gang had put a bounty on their heads and that she and her parents were in danger. Over time, she gave Murray between $120,000 and $130,000 to pay off the gang.

Bak estimates she was sexually assaulted 100 times over the next four years.

Earlier this year Murray, 39, was sentenced to 10½ years in prison after Court of King’s Bench Justice Steven Mandziuk found him guilty of assault, uttering threats, sexual assault, forcible confinement, criminal harassment and two counts of extortion. 

Mandziuk also ordered Murray to repay Bak $115,000 within three years following his release from prison.

Murray is appealing his conviction and sentence. A Court of Appeal judge denied Murray’s release pending the outcome of his appeal.

He remains behind bars in Bowden Institution.

“It just felt like I had this unending darkness … and it was nothing but pure misery,” Bak testified in Edmonton Court of King’s Bench during the trial.

“I was so alone, and I felt so isolated.”

Bak told court that she went to police as a last resort.

“I figured I didn’t have much left to lose,” she testified. 

“There was nothing that had happened to my family thus far, so I figured my family would be safe, and the worst that would happen is maybe — maybe — I would die. 

“But I was willing to take that risk.”

Years of abuse and extortion

The abuse and extortion continued for years after the relationship ended in 2011.

In one instance, soon after they broke up, Murray violently attacked Bak after he found her and a man in bed in their shared home. 

After threatening the man with a BB gun, he turned his anger on Bak. 

“He held me up and held my neck against the wall,” Bak recalled in the interview.

“Eventually he made it to the front door with me and threw me down the stairs and tossed me out.”

The next day, Bak tried to collect her belongings. She said Murray said he would let her take her things, but only if she would have sex with him. 

After they had sex, Murray changed his mind and she left humiliated and empty-handed.

The next day she returned with a police escort.

“I remember just the seething look of rage in Hew’s face,” Bak told CBC. “The tension was palpable.” 

She thought that would be the last time she’d ever see Hewton Murray.

To be certain, she obtained an emergency protection order from the court. 

$50,000 bounty on each of their heads 

A few days later, Murray called Bak and said he needed to tell her something important. He showed up outside her friend’s apartment and demanded she get into his truck. 

During the drive, Murray told Bak he’d been contacted by a gang member who was upset because she brought police into his house. 

“The accused told [Bak] that the gang had placed a $50,000 bounty on each of their heads because she purportedly knew too much,” Mandziuk wrote in his decision.

“The accused told her that if they did not pay the bounty, [Bak] and the accused would be killed.” 

Murray also suggested Bak’s parents were in danger. He produced a photo of their Ontario farm taken from the road, supposedly by the gang member.

“He said that if I didn’t pay, they’d go after my family,” Bak said in the interview.

Back at Murray’s house, she said, he handcuffed her to a railing in the basement while he appeared to negotiate a deal with the gang over the phone. 

Then Murray sexually assaulted her.

“It has cost me much of my time, my life and my finances, the better part of my 20s,” Bak wrote in her victim impact statement. 

“There was so much pain and anguish, so many tears, and I wouldn’t wish the experience upon anyone.”

‘I just wanted to be free’

Murray kept inventing new sums of money supposedly demanded by the gang. When Bak handed over $5,000 in May 2016, she promised herself it would be the last time. 

“Hew was going to come after me for money by the end of the year and I just wanted to move on with my life,” Bak told CBC.

“I just wanted to be free.”

A friend noticed how upset Bak was and recommended she see a psychic. She went for a session and says that conversation about her future convinced her to go to the police. 

When she poured her heart out to a constable, he believed her story.

Forensic psychologist Sandy Jung, a psychology professor and forensic psychologist at MacEwan University, says having a compassionate police officer is crucial for those facing years of abuse.

“It’s huge when you have an officer who believes you,” Jung said.

“Because it was coming from an authority figure, it has a huge impact on victims.”

Staff Sgt. Jennifer Scott, acting head of the Edmonton Police Service domestic offender crime section, said 10 detectives are assigned to the section, along with 13 constables on the domestic abuse high-risk team who are partnered with registered social workers. 

“It takes a lot of courage and it’s very difficult for people to leave or to get assistance in these types of cases,” Scott said. 

“It can happen to anyone.” 

Praise for victim’s courage

In his sentencing decision, Mandziuk said Murray showed no remorse.

“[Murray] said that this prosecution was based on ‘wild accusations’ that are only half true at best,” Mandziuk wrote.

Jung said it’s typical for abusers to lack remorse.

“I don’t doubt he’s done it for so long, that he’s justified this in his mind for a long time to make this OK,” Jung said.

Jung praised Bak’s courage for seeing the process through. 

“She’s now prevented another victim who might endure the exact same thing that she went through.”