After 1,000 dates in 8 years, this woman sends automatic rejection e-mails to men who don’t meet her standards
Suzan Mutesi, a 38-year-old actor and writer, says she has been on over 1,000 dates in eight years and is “obsessed” with finding her “fairytale ending.” Living between Sydney and London, Suzan had two serious long-term relationships in her twenties but has struggled to find love since.
Now in her 30s, Suzan revealed that she has gone on more than 1,000 dates, often using them as an alternative to cooking dinner. Her dating life has become so routine that she’s created an automated rejection email to politely inform her dates that “it didn’t work out” while thanking them for their time. (Also read: Is your partner always negative? 8 tips from therapist on how to cope and know when to leave )
Actor Suzan Mutesi spends 8 years on 1,000+ dates
Suzan admits she has high standards when it comes to partners, revealing that one ex even provided her with an allowance and a private car so she’d never have to rely on public transport. However, her dating adventures haven’t been without drama. She recalls a string of disastrous encounters, including a Romeo who jumped into a lake during a picnic, another who accidentally set his kitchen on fire, and one who shockingly invited another woman along, expecting a threesome.
Despite setbacks and even family urging her to “give up,” Suzan remains hopeful, pouring as much energy into dating as she does into her career. She’s optimistic that 2025 will be the year she finds “the one.” “I love romantic movies because I want the whole fairy tale – I believe in that kind of love,” she told PA Real Life. “I haven’t given up on finding true love, and I hope it doesn’t give up on me either.”
Suzan shared that her spare time revolves around her quest for romance. “If I’m not on a date, swiping on apps, taking new profile photos, or watching a rom-com, you’ll probably find me out with friends – and our conversations are all about our latest dates,” she said. “Even at the gym, I’m working out to my favourite love songs. Honestly, most of my free time is spent on dating apps.”
In her twenties, Suzan had two long-term relationships. Her first, lasting four years, was with a man in his thirties who gave her an allowance and a private car. At 27, she entered another three-year relationship but realized they weren’t meant to be. Since then, she’s been on a quest to find “the one,” going on over 1,000 dates in eight years.
“I knew love was out there, and I wasn’t going to find it sitting at home in my pyjamas—I had to go out and get it,” Suzan said. In her early thirties, she was averaging at least three dates a week, often heading out for dinner simply because she “didn’t feel like cooking.” These days, her pace has slowed slightly, and she typically goes on at least one date a week.
Suzan relies on dating apps like Bumble and Hinge but is also open to meeting someone organically. Committed to making a great impression, she ensures she always looks her best when stepping out—never skipping make-up or opting for “comfy pants”—in her ongoing quest to find Mr. Right.
Over the years, Suzan has experienced a mix of unforgettable dates, both good and bad. In 2021, she went on what seemed like a promising date, only for it to take an unexpected twist when the man invited another woman, hoping for a threesome. “I had to get out of there very quickly—I don’t know why he thought I’d be up for that,” Suzan shared.
That same year, she went on a romantic picnic in Hyde Park with someone she met on a dating app, but things quickly took a turn. “The ducks saw the food and came close… he started chasing them and ended up in the water,” she laughed. “It was hilarious; I just couldn’t stop laughing… but then he couldn’t get out, so I literally had to jump in and help him.”
“I was so annoyed – it ruined my designer dress. I did not see him again,” Suzan said, reflecting on the Hyde Park mishap. In 2023, another date took an unfortunate turn when a man tried to impress her by cooking dinner, only to set the pan on fire. “His ash-covered face and offer to buy pizza instead did little to win me over,” Suzan recalled. “I was not impressed. The fact he offered me carbs when I was meant to be staying over too didn’t help either.” To handle the disappointments, Suzan even set up an automatic rejection message for when things don’t go as planned.
“I never like to waste time,” Suzan said, explaining she uses an automatic email to politely reject dates that don’t feel right: “Thank you, but it didn’t work out.” One of her best dates was in Sydney, where she enjoyed a private beach dinner prepared by a personal chef. However, her longest relationship since turning 30 lasted only three months. While her loved ones support her, some family members joke she should “give up.” Still, Suzan remains optimistic, seeking “old-school romance” and someone to make her “even happier” than she is on her own.
Suzan admits that dating sometimes feels like her “full-time job,” and she feels “disappointed” if a date isn’t on the calendar. She puts as much effort into dating as her career, believing that effort leads to results.
Hoping to inspire other women in their thirties, Suzan encourages them to embrace their own unique journeys to love. She’s even written a book, Love Beyond 30s, about her experiences. Finding true love remains her goal for 2025, and she plans to keep dating through apps and in person. “I want my fairytale ending,” Suzan says, “I’m obsessed with the idea of it!”
