Conflicts are natural in any relationship. Contrary to popular beliefs, conflicts are healthy as they help us in understanding the other person better. When two opinionated people are in a relationship, it is natural to have disagreements. However, conflicts further help us in understanding their opinions and perspectives. This further deepens the relationship. “Conflict and arguments are natural. It’s how we argue, not what we argue about that’s important so here are some tips that can help you have more productive rather than destructive arguments,” wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton as she pointed out why it is important to have constructive conflicts.
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Repairing a conflict is equally important. “Repair attempts are about putting the relationship first and about letting go of being right and winning,” added the therapist. She further shared a few tips by which we can argue better in conflicts.
Time: Choosing the time helps in letting it out rather than bottling the emotions up. When we keep the emotions bottled up, often it comes out when we do not want them to.
Assume the best: Giving the partner the benefit of doubt helps in creating a healthy space where their opinions are also valued.
Plan: It is always the problem versus the relationship. We should understand that and brainstorm together for solutions.
Stay on topic: Often in conflicts, we make the mistake of bringing up past issues and making ourselves distracted. Instead, we should stick to the topic at hand.
Take responsibility: We should take ownership for the mistakes made by us.
Take a break: When things start to get out of control, we should pause and take a break and then come back to the discussion later.
No blaming: We should avoid playing the blame game. Instead, we should handle things maturely and try to find a long-term solution.
Respect: No matter how much we disagree with our partner, it is never okay to be disrespectful towards them. Neither should we be disrespectful, nor should we tolerate disrespect.
