What happens when we start to betray ourselves? We often associate betrayal with some situation where we have been betrayed by people we love. But what about self-betrayal? The way we choose to live our lives in a toxic way, the way we let unhealthy people become a part of our lives and the way we let others become a bigger priority for ourselves are all part of the betrayal we do to ourselves. “When you hear the word betrayal, what comes to mind? Most of us would think about a time when we felt betrayed by someone. But what about the betrayal that can come from ourselves? Self-betrayal can show up in many different ways. Whether it’s lying to yourself, not setting firm boundaries, or living inauthentically, self-betrayal stems from a lack of self-respect and self-value,” explained Therapist Allyson Kellum-Aguirre.
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Allyson further noted down a few signs of self-betrayal:
Saying yes when we do not want to: We often end up agreeing to do things when we do not even feel like it. Every time we decide to say yes when clearly, we want to say no, we end up betraying ourselves.
Pretending to be someone: We are often scared that if we show our authentic selves, we may not be loved and adored by everyone. Hence, we learn to mask ourselves and pretend to be someone else. This is also a classic sign of self-betrayal.
Not aligning with the values we have: When we fail to live a life that does not align with the values and the ethics we believe in, we betray ourselves.
Comparing ourselves: We live in our own deadlines. But every time we end up comparing ourselves with others, we are demeaning ourselves and making ourselves feel small.
Ignoring self-care: The love and the care that we have for ourselves matter the most. We should never ignore self-care and our basic needs.
