The sense of safety forms the foundation block in a relationship. This further creates space for trust, intimacy and healthy communication. In a relationship, when we feel safe around our partner, we are able to explore ourselves and the relationship, and also initiate growth. Addressing safety and its importance in a relationship, Therapist Elizabeth Fedrick wrote, “A relationship without safety, unfortunately, does not stand a chance at survival. Safety is the most important component of any relational dynamic. Safety is the foundation for intimacy, connection, trust, communication, and so on.” Elizabeth further shares a few things that can impact safety in a relationship and make it unhealthy for the people involved.
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Trust: When trust and promises are repeatedly broken, it can shake the foundation of the sense of safety and make people reconsider the relationship.
Threat: in some relationships, casual threats are given by one partner. This creates the sense of feeling unsafe in the form of physical, mental or emotional abuse.
Showing up: Every person in a relationship expects their partner to show up for them. That helps in creating better bonding. But when a person is not able to show up repeatedly, it should say something about their emotional investment towards us.
Conflicts: Conflicts are normal in a relationship, and it helps in opening up new perspectives for each other. However, when repeatedly, conflicts are not addressed and resolved and they keep piling up, it can create problems.
Quality time: It is important for two people in a relationship to spend time together that they can cherish. When we fail to spend quality time, it creates distance.
Boundaries: When repeatedly boundaries are disrespected in a relationship, be it physical, emotional or mental, it can create the sense of lack of safety.
Efforts: For growing a connection, we need to give efforts mutually. But when we fail to do so, it can impact safety in the relationship.
