A strong relationship can be ruined by a variety of factors. Despite the fact that cheating might be the first thing that comes to mind, psychologists claim that negative or excessive thinking is more likely to destroy a relationship than anything else. Recognize your unhealthy patterns and routines, such as negative thinking, if you want to keep your relationship healthy. People who suffer from anxiety and depression frequently have negative thought patterns, which can seriously damage a relationship. Although it is normal to worry occasionally when you are in a relationship, your persistently pessimistic views about that connection could be harming its general well-being. (Also read: How procrastination affects relationship with your partner; know from expert )
Certified Life and Relationship Coach, Ekorhi K. Benjamin, suggested four negative thinking patterns affecting your relationship, in his recent Instagram post.
1. Black-and-white thinking
It is also referred to as extreme thinking or polarised thinking. In this, you tend to see people from two extremes which are either perfection or complete failures, and there can be no middle ground. This thought pattern doesn’t make room for the complex situations which usually occur in relationships. If you notice yourself using absolute words like always, never, impossible etc. about your partner in statements like “My partner doesn’t love me because he/she always forgets to kiss me in the morning” then you probably have a ‘black and white’ thinking pattern.
2. Jumping to conclusion
This occurs when you view your partner through the lenses of your old hurt rather than the present circumstance. You may catch yourself predicting things in a negative way despite the lack of supporting evidence. It can appear as ‘mind-readinrelatg’ or assuming the thought of others and then taking it as fact
3. The blame game
Blaming simply means assigning responsibility for a negative event to another person. It may feel liberating but this can cause your partner to have a lot of resentment and it still doesn’t solve anything. Taking responsibility for your actions empowers you to learn from your mistakes and make your relationship happier.
4. Emotions vs facts
When you feel anxious or depressed, it’s not okay to define your self-identity and life with that emotion or else, it will ruin your relationships. There is so much more to you than your feelings. Emotions are not facts: no one should ever feel the need to define themselves by their feelings.
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