For one battle scene, she was repeatedly made to run a terrifying gauntlet of explosives and debris. She jammed cotton balls into her ears to drown out the noise. Another action sequence sent her to the hospital when a detonation startled a horse, causing it to thrust an explosive device in PolleyтАЩs direction.
In the essay, Polley reproduces an email exchange she had with Gilliam several years later, writing to him that тАЬi was pretty furious at you for a lot of years,тАЭ though she says тАЬthe adults who should have been there to protect me were my parents, not you.тАЭ (Gilliam replies with an apology for the chaotic film shoot, writing, тАЬAlthough things might have seemed to be dangerous, they werenтАЩt.тАЭ)
Yet a few pages later, Polley finds herself regretting that she absolved Gilliam too easily, having bought into the archetype of тАЬthe out-of-control white male geniusтАЭ: тАЬItтАЩs so pervasive, this idea that genius canтАЩt come without trouble, that it has paved the way for countless abuses,тАЭ she writes.
To this day, Polley told me her emotions surrounding тАЬBaron MunchausenтАЭ are not easily categorized.
тАЬWas it worth my feeling like my life was at risk and people didnтАЩt care enough about it?тАЭ she said. тАЬProbably not.тАЭ But when she contemplates Gilliam, тАЬit doesnтАЩt help me particularly to think of him as a villain.тАЭ (A press representative for Gilliam said he was unavailable for comment.)
In another chapter, тАЬThe Woman Who Stayed Silent,тАЭ Polley revisits what she used to call тАЬa funny party story about my worst date everтАЭ with Jian Ghomeshi, the musician and former CBC radio host who in 2016 was acquitted of five charges related to sexual assault.
Describing the episode now without euphemism, Polley says that when she was 16 and Ghomeshi was 28, she left his apartment after he became violent during a sexual encounter in which he ignored her pleas to stop hurting her.
