Arguments happen to the best of us but unresolved conflicts can weigh heavily on our mental well-being. It raises the question: how do you move past an argument and truly make amends?
Arguments, whether with a friend, partner or family member, can leave a lasting emotional toll. From the Oasis Brothers (thankfully, we are getting that reunion!) to Taylor Swift and Kanye’s long-standing tension and even the public fallout between Prince Harry and the royal family, celebrity feuds remind us that unresolved conflicts can stretch on for years.
However, whether in the spotlight or behind closed doors, knowing how to apologise effectively can make all the difference in moving forward. To shed light on the power of a sincere apology, Mental Health Expert Stephen Buchwald of Manhattan Mental Health (a leading provider of therapy and counselling services) shared his insights on how to apologise effectively while maintaining your own perspective.
“As humans, we crave connection, but pride often gets in the way. A genuine apology does not automatically translate to giving in. It is a catalyst to acknowledging emotions in a healthy way and eventually fostering healing.”
The right way to apologise without losing your voice
Apologising does not mean admitting fault for everything. Simply put, it is acknowledging the other person’s emotions while staying true to your own.
According to Stephen Buchwald, here’s how to do it effectively:
- Take Time to Reflect – “A knee-jerk apology can feel insincere. Before you apologise, take a moment to process your emotions and understand what went wrong.”
- Acknowledge Their Feelings – Instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry”, try “I understand that what I said hurt you”. This approach shows empathy without invalidating your own perspective.
- Use ‘I’ Statements – Shifting blame can escalate conflicts. Instead of “You were being unreasonable”, say “I felt overwhelmed during our conversation. This keeps the focus on emotions rather than accusations.
- Don’t Over-Apologise – Like all other things, saying sorry is a sentiment that should be done in moderation. “An apology should be meaningful, not excessive. Over-apologising can come across as dismissive or self-pitying.”
- Offer a Solution – If appropriate, suggest ways to prevent similar conflicts in the future. For example, try saying: “Next time, let’s take a break before things escalate.” Playing the blame game does no one any good. “Offering a constructive step forward shows commitment to repairing the relationship.”
Why apologising is good for your mental health
Holding onto resentment or guilt can be emotionally draining. Studies show that genuine apologies can reduce stress, improve relationships and even boost self-esteem.
Stephen Buchwald said, “Apologising allows both parties to move forward. It lightens the emotional burden and promotes inner peace.” Whether it is a family dispute, a disagreement with a friend, or even a workplace conflict, knowing how to apologise the right way can make all the difference and if you are struggling with communication, seeking professional support can help you navigate emotional challenges with confidence.
As the Oasis feud reminds us, unresolved arguments can last a lifetime but with the right approach, making amends does not have to mean losing yourself! If anything, it means valuing connection over conflict.