It’s a common knowledge that relationships aren’t built on love alone. They require constant nurturing, respect, trust and open communication. However, it is easier said than done as people struggle to get these basic elements right and may end up ruining even a potentially perfect relationship. You can love someone deep in your heart but may not be able to make it work because of several factors. We tend to take people and things for granted when they come easily to us. You can ignore somebody’s presence or not take efforts to communicate because you feel that person isn’t going anywhere. You may also fail to make compromises for your loved one when they need it the most simply because you are not willing to come out of your comfort zone. (Also read: Warning signs of an abusive friendship and what to do about it)
Alexandra Elle, NYT Bestselling Author of How We Heal and Restorative Writing Teacher in her recent Instagram post talks about things that are important to create healthy relationships.
“Love is important, but it’s not all we need…The older I got, the more I realized that love was not enough to make relationships work. Whoever sold us that dream lied. Thinking that love is enough to sustain our connections creates a lot of false hope, perpetuates staying in dysfunctional relationships, and creates avoidance versus addressing things head-on. You can love someone to the moon and back and still not be able to “make it work.” There are so many other moving parts. While love is undoubtedly an essential ingredient in any successful relationship (romantic, platonic, or familial), it alone can’t sustain us,” wrote Alex.
“As I gained more emotional maturity and stopped living in a fairytale world, I started being honest about other things I needed to contribute to having healthy connections with those around me. Being married and having a close group of sister-friends opened my eyes to a lot of things over the years,” adds the expert.
IMPORTANT INGREDIENTS FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Alex lists 5 things that are as important as love in a relationship.
Communication: Communication is the key to creating healthy relationships. Over the years, I’ve learned that good communication involves active listening, expressing feelings and needs clearly, and being willing to compromise.
Trust: Trust is vital, and it involves being reliable, honest, and transparent with yourself and others. It’s built over time through consistent actions and behaviours that demonstrate your commitment and respect for the relationship.
Shared values: Relationships with people who share similar values, goals, and interests can be key pillars in a fulfilling connection. Being aligned in your values with folks you’re in community makes a difference.
Compromise: Relationships require compromise and flexibility. This means being willing to make adjustments. Finding a middle ground and working together to solve problems, even the uncomfortable ones, is hard work, but it’s worth it.
Healthy boundaries: Setting and honouring boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. Respecting each other’s privacy, space, and individual needs is necessary. This also means being able to communicate boundaries clearly without shame or guilt.