Intimacy is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human relationships, and it plays a critical role in the success of any romantic partnership. Whether it is emotional, physical, or both, intimacy helps partners feel connected, supported, and loved. It is a key component of a healthy relationship and can improve communication, strengthen bonds, and promote feelings of happiness and well-being. Yet, despite its importance, many couples struggle to maintain a deep emotional and physical connection. Whether it’s due to trust issues, communication breakdown, or life stress, these challenges can be overcome with the right approach and understanding. (Also read: 5 key ingredients for intimacy in a relationship )
“In order to increase emotional and physical intimacy in a relationship, both people need to start by improving their sense of self. This means doing an internal audit to figure out how they are feeling and showing up for themselves and their partner,” says, psychotherapist, Sadaf Siddiqi, in her recent Instagram post. She further shared five common reasons people struggle with intimacy in romantic relationships.
- You are placing unreasonable demands on your partner to meet unmet childhood needs. This changes the dynamic from romantic to parent-child because your partner is expected to take on roles that feel burdensome.
- You’re overly focused on changing your partner as a way to avoid working on yourself. It’s easier for you to find fault or criticize them for their shortcomings than to face your inner world and figure out how you can grow.
- You haven’t identified or properly communicated how the ongoing conflict in your relationship is impacting you. You’re building resentment instead of being vulnerable about how you feel (e.g., unappreciated, lonely, sad).
- You haven’t taken time to reflect on how your partner is feeling in the relationship through the lens of empathy and compassion. You know how they are doing superficially and make assumptions about how they feel internally, instead of being curious.
- You’re struggling with your mental health and this prevents you from allowing yourself to be seen by your partner as you are. You may be masking or pretending you are okay, experiencing body dysmorphia, being scared about the future, confused about your career or even fantasizing about a different reality.
