The talk of love: Questions to ask yourself about communicating with care

In a relationship, communication forms the basis of the foundation. The friendship, the camaraderie shared with the partner and most importantly, the honesty with which things are shared help in strengthening the foundation of the relationship further. When we communicate with care, it helps in understanding our partner and letting them know how we feel in clear words. Communication also helps in understanding where we stand in the relationship and what are the weak areas that we both need to work on in order to make the relationship a long lasting one. Relationships, after the initial phase of butterflies, becomes a long journey of communication, accepting each other’s imperfections and becoming each other’s best friend.

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When we communicate, it is important to know if we are communicating with care and compassion. It helps in understanding what our partners are feeling about the relationship. Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders addressed this and wrote, “It’s always helpful to evaluate if you’re getting what you need in your relationship – and evaluate what you’re giving in your relationship. We should be giving and receiving in our relationships. Here are a few questions to guide self-reflection as to how you show up in your relationship.”

Value the relationship: Sometimes it is important to take a step back and evaluate the communication we do with our partner and understand if it shows enough care and compassion.

Content: The things that are required to be said to the partner will be said, but the way it is said impacts the relationship heavily. We should ensure that none of our words are used as weapons by us against our partners.

Hard conversations: Any relationship needs to go through difficult conversations, and it is important to challenge ourselves to make the hard conversations have more traction and effect.

Feeling safe: Difficult conversations are parts of relationships – but if the partner does not feel safe around us through them, there is something that we are doing wrong.

What makes us safe: While it is important to ensure that our partners feel safe around us, we should also be mindful about our own emotional safety.

Listening: Listening and validating the opinions of the partner, even though sometimes they do not align with ours, is a part of showing respect in relationship.