Signs that you are in a hot conversation

By admin On May 10, 2023

Every relationship has its own share of ups and downs. In relationships, it is natural to have difficult conversations where we do not agree with our partners. But in safe and secure relationships, we agree to disagree with each other and embrace the difference of perspectives and opinions. The trick to a healthy relationship is seeing the partner as an individual with his or her own set of ideas and perspectives and embracing the differences. However, there are certain conversations that can dissociate us from our own relational skills. Addressing this, Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw wrote, “They are the types of conversations that take us “offline” and make it hard for us to access our relational skills. In the field of neurobiology, this all makes sense. As our brain detects threats, our prefrontal cortex gets blocked. When this happens, we no longer have access to important relational skills like problem solving, decision-making, empathy, affection, or humor.”

Making a marriage work needs a lot of effort, energy and nurturing. A lot of marriages usually tend to go through a rough path after having a child and that is very common. Romance and intimacy take a back seat and the entire focus goes on the baby. While having a newborn in the house is a joyous moment, a lot of stress also comes with it which leads to arguments and other relationship problems. Here are five tips to help you navigate relationship issues that may arise after having a baby: (Pexels)

She further added that when these conversations happen, we focus solely on how we feel, and not on others – “In these types of disagreements, our focus is on self-preservation rather than relational wellness. The response to this might be to fight, freeze, or walk away.”

Opposition: We start to see our partner as an opposition, rather than us being a team against the problem. Hence, we start to seek a winner and a loser in the argument.

Minutiae: We start to focus on the trivial things of the conversation, on what facts are right or wrong, rather than addressing the actual problem.

Past: We start to bring up the past in the conversation with the intention of hurting each other.

Connection: These conversations often lead to us taking up impulsive decisions of taking the connection away and leading to a massive change.

Cyclic: These conversations are typically cyclic in nature, going in circles, without any resolution.