The urge to constantly stay in touch in relationships can get tiring. With the advent of mobile phones and the Internet, we are constantly in touch with the other person. However, this also sometimes intrudes in the space and the peace that we have created to just be ourselves. While staying connected is necessary and beautiful in any relationship, the urgency culture prevalent in the present times can come in the boundaries that we have made. Addressing the same, psychologist Nicole LePera wrote, “We don’t need to get back to people immediately. The idea that we should be in constant communication can be toxic in relationships.”
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Nicole further added that urgency culture creates the sense of fight or flight and is one of the causes of anxiety. She shared a few examples:
Expectations: In relationships, we often expect people to get back to us immediately over call or text.
Response: The urgency that we create to respond to another person immediately can get toxic.
Availability: The guilt of not being able to get back to the other person immediately and the urge to stay available all the time.
Here’s a few ways how we can break free from urgency culture:
Not expecting: We should stop expecting someone to get back to us immediately. Instead, we should get ourselves busy with something else.
Energy: Often we do not have the energy or the capacity to get back to people right then. Hence, we should wait till we are in a better place to respond to them.
Assigning meaning: It is important to not assign meanings or assume the ways people communicate in relationships. Everyone has their own way.
Different style: People have their own ways to communicate. We should accept that and respect their boundaries.
Stereotypes: We often feel that we should communicate right away to express how we feel тАУ these are a few standards set by society. In reality, everyone has their unique way of communication, and we must not step on their boundaries.
