Parents frequently unintentionally cause identity crisis for their kids without even being aware of it. Over protection and over caring might interfere with a child’s ability to develop a unique identity and way of thinking. Both direct and indirect influences can have an impact on a child’s identity, including family life and parenting. There are many instances of families where one or both parents interfered with their children’s development of separate, individual thoughts and feelings. The majority of these parents had good intentions. They usually intervened in their child’s life out of a desire to shield them from unpleasant emotions or to ensure that their actions and decisions were the “correct” ones. As a result, these kids grew up depending on their parents to define not only how they should feel or act, but also their identity that is, who they are as people. (Also read: Parenting tips: Here’s how parents can shape their kid’s personality )
Family therapist and relationship counsellor, Trinity, explains how parents fuel identity crises in their children in her recent Instagram post.
She says “When a loving parent is so certain that they know what is right for the child and does not consider that the child may have valid, different ideas about what their wants, needs, and feels, there is no space and no invitation for the child to develop the ability to express their self with separate ideas, feelings, and needs. Over time, as the child grows to adulthood and is exposed to more ways of thinking about things, there is typically a good deal of confusion about identity, thoughts, and feelings. Unless there is an opportunity to develop a separate sense of self, there will likely be a lot of anxious thinking about what is real but little ability to think for oneself in a self-reflective way. Well-intentioned parents who are critical and controlling may promote their child’s reliance on them to determine and define what is good and acceptable about the child.”
As a parent you can help your children deal with an identity crisis in the following way:
– Give them enough time and space to freely experiment and explore, to find their unique identity.
– They have the right to be themselves, forcing them into an identity will only prevent them from discovering their true self and happiness.
– It is important to understand that they don’t have a deadline to find their identity, it is a dynamic trait, ever-changing. Let them understand it at their own pace.
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